Boze and Arrows

Not So Manic Monday

2011-08-22T08:52:00.007-04:00

I guess it doesn't come as a surprise to most of you that I am a little different. Most people spend all week looking forward to the weekend and all weekend dreading the inevitability of Monday morning. Not me. I do look forward to the weekend, but to me Monday isn't as foreboding as it is to some.

To me Monday represents something totally different. It represents a new beginning. The mistakes and inefficiencies of the past week are, well... past. It represents a brand new opportunity to be successful, to grow from last week's experience, to be better. There is a renewed sense of hope. I feel refreshed, energized and ready to tackle life.

How about you? How do you approach Mondays? Is it a drudgery or do you choose to look for the positive?

Just Grow Up!

2011-02-04T06:31:00.003-05:00

My plan this week was to pray for my church every day based on the purposes. Of course, I got behind. The good thing is that it's never too late to pray.

Today I want to pray that my church family will understand that God doesn't want them to stay where they are spiritually. We were created to become like Christ. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help to change us through scripture to become more like Christ in our conduct and our character. I pray that each of us will become more committed to a daily quiet time where we read, pray, and study.

"As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." 2 Corinthians 3:18b (NLT)

We Are Family

2011-02-01T06:05:00.000-05:00

Today I want to take a minute and pray that my church will understand that they were formed for God’s family. God never intended for us to go through life alone. He made us to go through life as a part of a community of believers.

For those that have never taken the step, I pray that they will be baptized to make a public association with the family of God. I also pray that they will see their need to become more committed to our Sunday morning gathering. But most of all, I pray that they will get connected to a small group where they can build meaningful relationships. Where they can laugh, learn, and love with close friends.

“His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 1:5a (NLT)

Five For Five

2011-01-31T08:35:00.000-05:00

The last couple of days the people in my church have really been on my heart. I know they are hurting because our pastor is sick, but that's not why I've been thinking about them. At least, not entirely. The main reason is that I want so badly for them to see all that God has planned for their lives. I don't want them to miss anything that God has in store for them. He has created us for a purpose, in fact 5 purposes.

It just occurred to me (I tend to be slow) that there are 5 purposes and there are also 5 days of the week. So this week I am going to pray for my church and for God's purposes to be played out in all our lives.

Today I pray that our church will know or be reminded that we were planned for God's pleasure. I pray that we will all remember that worship is more than the first 15 minutes of our Sunday service. God is holy and righteous. He is the creator of all things and He wants us to live our lives as a reflection of his glory. We can do the mundane things of our lives every day as an act of worship by doing them as if we were doing them for God and by talking continuously to Him through the process.

"The Lord is pleased with those who respect him,with those who trust his love." Psalms 147:11(NCV)

I'm Sick

2011-01-12T18:55:00.001-05:00

Westboro Baptist Church makes me sick. No, not figuratively speaking. I literally get sick to my stomach when I hear a report on the news about them.

The things they say hurts. It hurts the church. It hurts the Kingdom. I have to believe it hurts God. And surely not least of all, it hurts the families whose funerals they protest.

God doesn't hate homosexuals. He hates homosexuality. He hates it in the same way that He hates lies, hates stealing, hates jealousy, and hates gluttony. He hates all those things, but thankfully for me, He loves the liar, the thief, the discontent, and the gluttonous. And, yes, He loves the homosexual.

One of the hardest things for most Christians is knowing the difference between approval and acceptance. You can accept one of God's very own creations, regardless of where they are spiritually, without approving of the lifestyle they have chosen.

I still don't feel any better.

She Loves Me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

2010-10-13T06:06:00.001-04:00

This morning my wife, Stephanie, told me, "I love you with a heart-stopping love. I mean I literally want to stop your heart sometimes." Even though it was a sentiment that stopped just short of giving me the warm fuzzies, I realized how much that statement really sums up marriage. Marriage isn't easy. When you live with someone and spend so much time with them, the little idiosyncrasies that make up their personality can drive you crazy. I've heard it said that love is a choice, not a feeling and the older I get, the more I understand how true that is. God has blessed me with a beautiful, loving, caring wife and I choose to love her and put myself aside for her. And maybe, just maybe, she'll let me live.

Doggone It

2010-08-24T06:36:00.000-04:00

Yesterday the kids and I went hiking at Pilot Knob. We took our dog Sadie with us. She's a Lab/Bulldog mix and is about a year and a half old. It was the first time she had been hiking with us, so she was trying to get used to the leash and the choke collar. But it didn't take her long to learn that when she went too far towards danger, the collar would tighten and become very uncomfortable. Soon she was walking happily at my left leg with the collar draped loosely.

While we were walking, I was reminded of a Chip Ingram tape I heard several years ago. He was talking about God's Laws and how they are not meant to oppress us, but to protect us.

I didn't put the collar on Sadie to be mean or to give her an unnecessary burden to carry. When she learned how it worked, she was perfectly happy to walk right beside of me. She was still able to play and explore the trail we were on while staying away from the danger of the steep ledges.

Many people see Christianity as nothing more than a list of do's and don't's meant to smother us and take all the fun out of life. But the Bible says that there is great freedom in salvation. In fact, it's not really about the rules at all. It's about realizing that all God wants is a relationship with us and the most comfortable place to be in that relationship is right by his side.

To The Left, To The Left

2010-06-16T18:25:00.000-04:00

We are at McDonald's in Bryson City so I decided to take advantage of their free wifi. This is much easier than posting with my phone.

Today Michael and I tackled the Left Loop at Tsali. It was around 11.9 miles. Michael did great, but after about 7 miles, he really didn't have any legs left. We pushed the last three significant climbs. That was okay, though. Before this week, he had never ridden more than five miles at one time. Now he has two 11+ milers under his belt. After three days, I'm guessing we have around 27 miles in.

And after 27 miles, I am even more amazed at Michael's apparent physical inability to ride around a mudhole of any size, shape or depth. Needless to say, I have had to douse his chain daily with oil. It's worth it, though, to see him having such a good time celebrating who he is... a boy. I wouldn't have him any other way.

Go West, Young Man

2010-06-15T20:42:00.001-04:00

Michael and I had another great day of riding. This morning we rode the red loop at Dark Mtn. It started with a really tough climb for a 9 year old and his fat daddy, but I couldn't have been more proud of Michael. He climbed like a pro. That was probably the longest, toughest climb he has ever faced and he made it without stopping.

The loop was pretty short, so when we got done we headed here to Tsali. It was further than I thought. It didn't help matters that the gps took us through downtown Lenoir and Morganton. I bet we turned 50 times, down every little side street there was.

After supper, we went to the Tsali trailhead. Since we had an easy day today, we decided tomorrow we would tackle the long Left Loop then go easier the rest of the week.

Riders On The Storm

2010-06-14T19:22:00.001-04:00

We had a good day of riding today. From Bandits Roost, we rode to Shiner's Loop and back for a total of about 10.5 miles on a recommendation from Richard Rhoden at Foothills Cycling. He was 100% right. It was a very fun loop. But really, the entire ride was fun. The trails are a lot different than what we are used to. Since they are built with machinery, they are relatively smooth and very fast. One of the greatest things is all the banked turns. Several times I heard Michael yelling "Woohoo!" as he went through a fast, twisting section.

Tomorrow we are riding Dark Mountain. Today we went to scout out the trailhead. Unfortunately while we were gone, a violent storm came up and destroyed the awning on our camper. Luckily, no one at the camp ground was hurt and ours seemed to be the most damage.

Happy Trails

2010-06-14T06:56:00.001-04:00

Michael and I are on a mountain biking trip. There isn't any WiFi here at the campground, so I'm using my HTC Hero and an app called AndroBlogger to update my blog. I'll keep you updated on how our rides are going.

GOAL!... GOAL!... GOAL!

2010-02-04T10:32:00.000-05:00

There's a guy that lives on my road. Now, I'm a terrible judge of age but I would have to guess that he is in his late-60s or early-70s. Most mornings for the last year, on my way to take the kids to school, I see him running. Not out on the road, but just around the perimeter of his yard he runs. He doesn't have all of the cool running clothes or even an athletic gait, but he runs. With his shoulders slightly slumped forward, he runs. Leaning into the hills as he goes around, he runs. With a steel-willed look in his eyes, he runs. Every morning. Apparently, at some point, he had set a goal that he was going to start running and that is exactly what he has been doing.

A couple of weeks ago, when the temperatures were in the teens every day, I really didn't expect to see him. In fact, I secretly hoped that I wouldn't. I think some dark part of myself wanted him to fail at this goal, because if he did, it would make him like most others. It would make him like me. But even in brutal temperatures, he runs.

After the big snow last weekend, the kids haven't had school so I haven't seen him. Today they finally went back 2 hours late and I still didn't see him, but I saw his path in the snow. The place he has been running has melted just like the tire tracks in my own driveway... from use. Even in the snow, he runs.

Today I changed. I no longer hope for him to fail. Today I root for him to succeed. He is just like I want to be. Different.

I had already decided to spend today out of the office to work on my goals for this year. So, I am in an undisclosed coffee shop, drinking an undisclosed number of cafe' mochas, seeking God and his purposes for my life, and the God-sized goals he wants me to tackle this year.

Pray for me. Pray that I will sense His leading. Pray that this year I'll be different.

Reckless Abandon

2010-01-18T09:48:00.000-05:00

Over Christmas, Stephanie and I got Michael a new mountain bike. He's been riding an old, heavy one and we thought it was time to get him one he could ride successfully on trails. One that was lighter, and a little tougher, and one that the gears worked better on so he could climb better.

I know that he is an adventurous, risk-taking boy, but when we went to Fisher River Park to ride this past Saturday, I saw a new facet to his personality. There were sections of the trail that I didn't believe that he would be able to navigate. Thankfully, at each one of these sections there were ways to go around the obstacle, whether it be a log crossing or a big root. Usually, I would go first and then turn back to coach him and Bryanna. When Bryanna would get to a rough spot, she approached it much like I would. She is cautious and calculating, evaluating the risks. But as Michael approached, I would watch his face. Never once did I see a glimpse of uncertainty or hesitation. It was like the option to go around never entered his brain. He never considered bailing out. All he knew was to hit it head on with everything he had.

Yesterday, Scott preached a great message on goal setting. One of the things he said was that in order to be successful you have to separate the decision-making from the trouble-shooting. In other words, you can't let the possibility of future failures keep you from setting goals in the present. Deciding not to set a goal that will make you a better husband or father or employee because you're afraid of failure is not an option.

As you continue to work on goals for this year, look your obstacles right in the eye as if there is not an option to go around, as if there is not an option to stay in the same place you are and not get better. If you would like a copy of that message from Sunday, let me know.

Man Up

2009-11-24T06:27:00.000-05:00

I was reading this morning in 2 Kings, chapter 2. David was near death and was issuing a charge to his son, Solomon. In that charge he said, "Be strong, and show yourself a man..." I thought it was interesting because David didn't define what kind of man. Apparently, to him a man has certain character traits by definition. And he must have believed that Solomon knew what he was talking about because he didn't explain to him what kind of man to be.

So what does it mean to be a man? Yesterday I happened across a blog that posted a series on how to be a better man in 30 days. I would love to hear what you think. Ladies, too.

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

2009-11-17T06:00:00.000-05:00

Over the summer I actually lost some weight playing golf. I know that sounds counterintuitive because most people don't see golf as a sport. But every time we played, we walked, and coincidentally, every time we played it was literally impossible for me to sit on the couch and eat cookies. Since golf season has ended for us, I have gained almost all of the weight back, so I decided to look for an activity that the kids and I could do over the winter. I used to ride mountain bikes and I thought that would be a good sport to introduce them to. It's fun, challenging and it's something they will be able to participate in for years to come.

Since starting to ride, it's been fun to see them develop skills. When we get to a difficult part in the trail, we'll stop and talk about what is the best way to negotiate the section. I noticed, though that these talks aren't just about mountain biking. Mountain biking is giving me yet another opportunity to teach them about life and faith. Here are some lessons we're learning:

1. Never look where you don't want to go. Plain and simple. You will steer the bike where you are looking. If there is an obstacle, such as a large hole, that you want to avoid, you will run in it every time if you focus on it. The same is true concerning temptations and bad habits in life. My pastor talked about this just this past Sunday. He told a great story about being at home alone with a piece of his daughter's pie. He was focusing on the pie and came very close to eating it. If you are trying to lose weight you can't focus on the food you can't have. You have to focus on where you want to go instead.

2. Never take obstacles sitting down. When you come to a rough patch in the trail, you can't stay on the seat and hope everything turns out all right. You have to build momentum and then stand on the pedals. Your legs will act like shock absorbers and your balance will be better. Similarly, when you experience difficult times in life, be proactive. Don't let stuff happen and hope that it turns out all right. We don't always see what's coming, but the point is don't just be a victim. Find the best route and go for it.

3. Never give up. Bryanna and Michael aren't used to this kind of riding so they crash a lot. Of course, I've been riding on and off for years and I still crash a lot. And yes, it hurts when you hit the ground, but you have to get back on the bike. As humans, we are not perfect. We fall. We get hurt. We get dirty. But you can't give up. When you fall to that temptation that continually nags at you, don't just lay there defeated. GET UP! Now that's not to say you should ride 50 yards out of the trail to go through some mud like Michael does, but when you fail, and you will, know that God loves you and He is always looking for you to return to Him.

Are there any activities in your life that are helping you teach your kids? Or that may be teaching you a few lessons? I'd love to hear about it. Please comment below.

Slinging Mud

2009-10-23T09:58:00.000-04:00

Last Friday, Michael and I left for a 4-wheeling trip in West Virginia. Michael had to miss school, but I thought it would be worth it for the time we would be able to spend together. Someone told me that if I would write a letter to the principal explaining the educational benefits of the trip, I might could get the absence excused. So here's what I wrote...

Dear Mrs. Hardy,

Please excuse Michael Boyles from school next Friday, October 16th. He and I will be taking an educational trip to West Virginia.

While there, we will study geology by taking random soil samples that are suspended in aqueous solutions. These samples will be gathered by driving an all-terrain vehicle, at varying rates of speed, through collections of casual water along an off-road transportation network. The samples will be analyzed for smell, staining potential on apparel, and possibly taste.

We will also study local culture by interacting with residents in their native habitat and will study their social habits and networks by joining them in gathering places such as eating establishments and also on the aforementioned trail network. Our accommodations will be primitive to allow us to observe indigenous plant and animal life first hand as well.

Feel free to join my facebook page at www.facebook.com/donboyles to see a picture gallery documenting our research that will be posted shortly after our return on Saturday evening.

I expect that this particular trip will be an invaluable educational experience for Michael, helping him to become a more astute student at Cedar Ridge Elementary, a more endearing son, a more compassionate brother, and lo, dare I say, a more productive member of society.

Thank you for your consideration and God Bless America,

Sincerely,

Don Boyles
Michael's dad and future professional ATV mud-bogger

I didn't hear anything for a couple of days. Stephanie said the principal was probably calling social services since she now had written proof that Michael's dad had a screw loose, but the trip was approved and we had a great time. To put it in perspective, that was the last trip we took together while he was 8. Today he is 9. Happy Birthday, Son. I'm looking forward to another great year.

Book Review: A Lover's Quarrel with the Evangelical Church

2009-09-03T11:08:00.000-04:00

I recently completed reading A Lover’s Quarrel with the Evangelical Church by Warren Cole Smith. I was interested in this book, because I am in love with the evangelical church, but I also have some points of contention with it. I was hoping to find ideas that would support my own feelings and hopefully find some resolutions. This book didn’t provide either. Mr. Smith had an entirely different set of arguments than my own. He is obviously a deep thinker and had obviously invested a lot of time meditating on the subject before the book-writing process ever began.

Let me preface this review by saying that I am not that smart, not nearly as smart as Mr. Smith, anyway, so please filter any comments I have about this book based on that information. It is quite possible that his arguments are simply over my head.

There are several arguments that Mr. Smith makes that do not make logical sense to me. One of his complaints is the rising popularity of using media in worship services. He calls this “the great stereopticon.” His argument seems to be that media such as television and movies has degraded the morality of our country, so it shouldn’t be embraced in the church. Using that logic, I could make the argument that air conditioning has been instrumental in making our society increasingly more lazy, so churches shouldn’t install climate control systems.

There also seems to be a number of contradictions in the book. For instance, he believes that the megachurch model is inherently flawed and tells the story of K.P. Yohannan, the founder of Gospel for Asia, who “resolved not to build a megachurch nor a megaministry” because he saw the inherent flaws in a large organization. He then goes on to tell that one of Gospel for Asia’s closest associations is the Believer’s Church of India which has over 1.7 million members and includes one diocese with 1200 churches, 13 Bible colleges, and 67 Bridges of Hope programs for children. I’m not familiar with the definition of “megaministry”, but that sounds like it leans toward mega.

One point that I agreed with him on was the ineffectiveness of short-term missions and career, non-indigenous missionaries. The model that he described as being the most successful, however, is remarkably similar to Rick Warren and Saddleback Church’s P.E.A.C.E. plan. An irony is that Mr. Smith spends quite a bit of time criticizing Warren and other megachurch pastors.

Another complaint Mr. Smith has is with large evangelistic gatherings and crusades. He then explains that one of Yohannan’s influences was George Verwer, founder of Operation Mobilization, who came to know Christ at a Billy Graham Crusade. To me, this is the resolution to both mine and Mr. Smith’s peeves. Although every ministry or church is inherently flawed, mainly because they are all run by humans which are inherently flawed, it is comforting to know that God is bigger than all their imperfections and short comings. God can take a megachurch ministry such as Saddleback Church or a parachurch ministry such as the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and use it to transform lives and inspire individuals and groups to think of creative ways to reach more people for Christ.

Again, perhaps I am not intellectually qualified to review a book by such an accomplished author, but in my observations, Mr. Smith has more complaints than solutions. I still recommend reading the book, if for nothing more than using it as a prompting to evaluate your ministry. It caused me to take stock of my own ministry goals and motives.

A Pack of Mild Dogs

2009-09-02T06:15:00.000-04:00

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything here, but it's been a busy summer. I didn't take the time to write and you probably wouldn't have taken the time to read if I had. But now school is back in and most things have returned to normal or some reasonable facsimile thereof so I thought I would write about something I saw the other day that really got me to thinking.

Last week I got to work early and went up to the church to get some things before coming back to the office. As I was coming back to my car, I noticed a pack of dogs crossing the parking lot. At first I was nervous because I know that when dogs form a pack like that, even in a residential area, they can become aggressive. I've heard stories about packs of dogs attacking and killing livestock. But, my fears subsided when I noticed that there was an obvious leader to this pack. There was a dog out front whom the others followed. When he turned, they turned. When he stopped to sniff the air, they stopped. When he licked his butt, ...well, you get the idea. The leader was a basset hound. Yes, this was a pack of mild dogs. It seemed as though the entire pack had assumed at least part of the personality of their leader.

When I saw this, it got me to thinking about some of the leaders I've served under and even my own leadership style. Here's a couple of types I've ran across over the years and characteristics I've seen in myself.

The chihuahua - Have you ever seen a leader that tried to lead out of pure noise? All they do is bark, but when it comes time to make a tough decision or hold someone accountable, they hide under the couch.
The pit bull - Some people try to lead out of intimidation. They keep their subordinates in a constant state of fear that they will be ridiculed in front of their peers, lose their job, or worse yet, have to change toners in the copy machine.
The lab - Some leaders try to make everyone happy and be everyone's friend. They are fun loving, but are usually so personally involved with their subordinates, that tough decisions aren't objective and leave a wake of hurt and bitterness.

John Maxwell says that leadership is nothing more than influence. If you are leading and no one is following, you are simply out for a walk. I heard it put another way by a dad who was trying to develop leadership skills in his son in the Boy Scouts. He said, "Son, don't make the other scouts help you. Make them want to help you."

So what kind of leader are you? What kind of leaders have you served under?

Confessions Of A Golf Addict

2009-07-21T06:16:00.000-04:00

I have a confession to make. In an earlier post, I said that this summer I was getting back into cycling. The ugly truth is, I haven't been riding in about six weeks. Why? I definitely still need the exercise. The reason is that I just don't have time.

Here's another confession: I love golf. No, seriously, I really love golf. I watch it on television, I look up stats on the internet, I read player profiles... I LOVE golf. But more than golf, I love hanging out with my family and God has blessed me that they like golf, too.

Last summer we started playing together (you can see a video from last year at www.facebook.com/donboyles, go to my videos) and we're playing again this year. We go out to Pine Ridge Golf Course and walk the course three or four times each week. That doesn't leave much time for cycling, but it's worth it.

My prayer is that Bryanna and Michael remember these times forever. The times they've made a great shot and we all did the "golf clap". The times they asked to go play and we went even though the yard needed mowing. The times we've stopped in the middle of a round and sat under a tree and just talked. The times they played really good and beat Dad.

I can't say that I'm making a huge sacrifice for my kids, but I'm trying to be intentional about spending time with them and golf is a great medium for doing that. While playing there's plenty of time to talk, there are life lessons to be learned about patience, competition, integrity, and politeness. And there are limitless opportunities to celebrate God's creation.

Sure, I'm not getting as much exercise as I would cycling, but I think I'm getting a whole lot more... even when I get beat.

Square Pegs

2009-07-16T06:51:00.000-04:00

Who says the Bible is boring? There is a story in Judges 4, where this chick drives a tent peg through a guy's head. This could be a scene in a Quentin Tarantino movie. Boring? I think not.

But, then something interesting happened... they wrote a song about it. I'm sure it was rock and roll, because I can't imagine a song about a guy with a tent peg in his head set to easy listening music... or adult contemporary for that matter. Why did they write it? So that people would remember what the Lord had done and it could be celebrated. They knew that their stories in song would help the faith of others.

The same is true for you. Has the Lord done something cool in your life? If he has, and I'm sure he has, you have to tell someone. In fact, you should tell as many people as you can. You owe it to them, because it will strengthen their faith. There might be someone in your life that needs a booster shot, or that is not quite a believer yet. A great story might help them inch closer to the one that can change their life.

You don't have to write a song about it. Most of us don't have that talent. And there's a lot of us that don't have any business singing either. But, you can put them in stories and pray for opportunities to share them.

Where There's Smoke...

2009-07-01T08:35:00.000-04:00

One of my greatest friend's is a guy named Rick Powers. He has been a mentor to me and over the years has really challenged me in my faith. He called me the other week while we were camping, but I haven't called him back yet.

The last couple of days I've been thinking a lot about him. I would like to see Rick, but seeing him always makes me uncomfortable because he always challenges me. He always makes me realize how far I have to go... how little I know... how little I try... how I need to be more disciplined. He doesn't accomplish this by judging me or condemning me, but just by the way he lives out his faith. He probably doesn't even know the impact he has on me.

Rick makes me feel uncomfortable, but Perry Noble says discomfort is good. In fact, he says that being comfortable is bad. Being uncomfortable brings about growth and refinement.

One of Rick's favorite verses is "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Prov. 27:17(NIV). In the literal sense, when sharpening takes place, the result is friction and heat. That's not comfortable.

I sharpened my lawnmower blades last week and sure enough there was smoke, sparks and dust. It was a messy process, but in the end the blades were in a better condition to fulfill their purpose.

I called Rick this morning and left him a voicemail. It's time to get uncomfortable. Is there someone in your life that makes you better? I'd love to hear about them.

Sticks And Stones

2009-06-20T15:46:00.000-04:00

Almost twenty years ago I was hiking alone through Doughton Park when I realized that I needed a hiking stick. I had been on several hikes before when one would have come in handy and on this particular hike I had already crossed a couple of creeks with near damp results. As I was walking, I happened to look over into a laurel thicket and saw what appeared to be a good candidate. As soon as I picked it up, I knew I had found my stick. Sure, it was a little rough around the edges, was too long, and still had the bark on it, but it felt right in my hand. I took it home, sawed it to the right length, stripped off the bark and added a wrist strap. Since then that hiking stick has been a faithful companion. Together we have weathered sleet and freezing rain on Grandfather Mountain and snow in Linville Gorge. We have crossed creeks and narrow, rocky outcroppings on the sides of mountains. I really love that hiking stick, but today I gave it away.

Today, my son, Michael, made his first trip to the top of Raven Knob. He had been eyeing my stick all week so we set a goal to make the climb. I told him if he made it, the stick was his. I was glad to give it to him, because in that moment standing on the rock over looking Lake Sabata, I was as proud as a dad could be. He is growing up.

Last night we prayed together before bed and I asked God to help me raise him to be a good man. To be a man of integrity, character, moral fiber and, most of all, to be a God-honoring man. I want him to be known for his honesty and fairness. I want him to cherish relationships, especially those of his wife and kids. And, I want him to know Jesus.

After the hike as we were walking back to camp, I noticed him doing something I used to do when I was his age. He was trying to match my stride. His little legs stretching out to take the same length steps that I was taking, the same way I used to do with my dad. It was then that I realized the only way these lessons could be taught was for me to give him a model. I can't tell him the qualities of a good man without showing him those qualities in my own life, again much the way my dad did for me. I will never be perfect but I want him to see that I will never give up on getting better.

Although I loved that stick, I was glad to give it away. It's now a reminder of the work I have in front of me, not just for Michael but Bryanna as well. I guess this year that's my Father's Day gift to them.

You Look Mahvelous!

2009-06-08T06:03:00.000-04:00

"As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him. And he did not permit him but said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him and everyone marveled." Mark 3:18-20(ESV)

Saturday night, we baptized a guy at our church. Pastor Scott asked him what the Lord has done for him and he said, "He's changed my life and is helping me get off booze. I've been sober for three months." He told how much the Lord had done for him and everyone marveled.

Does evangelism freak you out a little bit? If you're like me, you want to tell your friends about Jesus, but you don't want to come across like one of those guys on the street corner screaming at people. Or maybe you're afraid that you don't understand all the theology wrapped up in salvation well enough to explain it to someone. Well, you don't have to. All you have to say is what the Lord has done for you, "This is who I was. This is who I am now." People will marvel.

It's Just Like Riding A Bike

2009-05-21T06:39:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've written a blog, but it's been a very busy spring so far. There have been cookouts to go to and yard work to be done. I've also decided this spring that I'm going to get back into cycling. I used to ride several years back and when I was riding, I felt good. First of all, I felt healthier and that by itself is enough to continue, but I also felt a sense of accomplishment. Anytime I would complete a distance longer than any I had done before or climb a mountain a little bit faster than I did previously, I felt like I had really done something.

To get back to riding, I first had to make time, so I decided which days and times I would ride. Nothing gets accomplished without a plan. Then I stopped by the bike shop one day just to see what was going on in the biking world since I had been gone. I talked to the owner, Richard, and told him I was thinking of getting back into riding. The first thing he told me about was the group rides that take place every week. With all the advances in equipment, with lighter bikes and more comfortable clothing, why would he tell me about the group rides? Because he's smart. From a business stand point, Richard knows that if I get connected with people, that I am more likely to stay in cycling and not drift back to the couch. If I stay in cycling, I am more likely to come back in to his shop and make purchases. But from a personal stand point, I believe that he really wants me to enjoy cycling the way he enjoys it. I believe he knows that the best way for me to learn and advance as a cyclist is to be around other cyclist who are better and faster than I am. He knows I'll learn techniques to help me improve and my involvement in cycling will be more fulfilling.

Immediately I began to see the parallels as they relate to church. I know that if people get connected through volunteering or small groups in our church, they are more likely to stay. But deep down, I want them to experience the same joy of being a believer that I do. I know that the best way for people to grow spiritually is to be in community with other people who are perhaps a little farther along in their faith than they are or have different life experiences than they do. I know they'll learn principles that will make their life more fulfilling.

People tell me all the time that they want to go deeper in their faith. Maybe, that's what you're thinking. Are you involved in a small group with other people or are you serving together with a group? You should try it. It's just like riding a bike. There will be some hills to climb, but there's nothing like the thrill of coming down the other side. And you'll be stronger for it.

Back To The Future

2009-05-03T06:43:00.000-04:00

I've heard the question asked many times, "Would you like to go back to high school and do it all over again?" For some people the question brings back the feelings of not fitting in, the pressures of the social structure and they immediately respond, "No!" Most people, however, say they would go back if they could know what they know now.

Over the last several months, I have been reconnecting with classmates from high school via Facebook. The other night we got together for dinner at a local restaurant. Many of them I really didn't know that well in high school. I've even had to go back and look in the yearbook to see who a few of them were.

Something interesting is happening, though. Through their status updates, the pictures they post, and in some cases direct messages, I feel I know most of them better than I did in high school. I know where they like to eat, what they like to do for fun, and how much their kids look like them. I feel there are some real friendships forming. In high school, we were all trying to figure out who we were and who we were going to be. We wanted to be a part of the crowd and at the same time be unique individuals. Now, most of that is settled. We are comfortable in our own skins; we are confident in who we turned out to be. And, maybe now we understand how valuable genuine relationships are.

Would I go back and do it all again knowing what I know now? Maybe I already am.

What would you do different?

I May Be On A Diet

2009-04-30T06:26:00.000-04:00

Scripture challenges me. Many times when I'm reading, a passage jumps off the page at me. It causes me to look at my life critically.

This morning, I was reading the beatitudes in Matthew 5. I've read them many times before and I remember studying them in Vacation Bible School as a kid. But this morning, verse 6 jumped out at me. It says, "Blesses are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" (ESV).

Reading that caused me to ask the question - How hungry am I for righteousness? How intense is my appetite? When I get hungry for food, there is very little that can stand in my way of getting it - SERIOUSLY! You can look at me and tell I don't miss many meals.

Here's what I find, though: I am starved for righteousness - in other people's lives. In my dealings with others, I can always see how they could be more righteous and make better decisions. I crave righteousness for them especially when it's me that's not being treated very well. In my life, however, not so much. Oh sure, I want to do the right thing, I want to treat people fairly, I want to live with integrity, but am I hungry for it? Do I have a deep, internal craving for good?

How about you? How hungry are you?

Can't We Be Friends?

2009-04-24T07:07:00.000-04:00

Tonight, my daughter Bryanna is going to a sleep over at one of her friend’s house. She has been very excited all week. Each morning at breakfast she has reminded me and Michael how many more days until she goes to Jessica’s. Yesterday, the day before the big event, she couldn’t hardly contain herself. Why is she so excited? Is it because Jessica has better toys than she does? Is her mom a better cook? Maybe they have more video games. Maybe she just wants to get away from us?

I don’t think any of that is the case. I think it’s because that’s the way she’s wired. In fact, I think it’s how we are all wired. I think each one of us has a built in desire to be connected with other people. We were made for relationships. God designed each one of us to operate best in community with other people.

As we get older, we tend to suppress that need because of our own personal hang ups, but it is still there. Sometimes we get so busy, we just don’t have time to invest in relationships.

In the past couple of years, I have been intentional about building relationships and it has made a huge difference in my life. Not all of the relationships have turned out well. I have been hurt deeply by people that I was very close to, but over all the results have been positive. I actually get excited when we are meeting our friends for dinner or our small group is coming over. I can’t wait when I get the opportunity to play golf with a friend.

So, I challenge you to take stock of the relationships in your life. Do you have some good friends that you are doing life with? If not, take the time. Go have coffee with someone. Invite someone over to dinner. Don’t have a sleep over, though, that could be weird.

Lessons From Kids

2009-04-17T06:38:00.000-04:00

God is love. I’m still trying to learn that lesson.

I used to have a very hard time reconciling the angry, judgmental God of the Old Testament with the loving, forgiving God of the New Testament. What made it even harder was the legalistic churches I had attended. Back then it was all about the rules. You had to wear the right clothes, watch the right TV shows (or certainly not watch the wrong ones), read the right Bible, say the right things... to make God love you more.

All of that changed, that whole perspective, when we had kids. I then saw how angry I could get when they subverted my attempts to keep them safe while at the same time loving them so much I can’t even describe it. It all started to make sense.

This weekend marks eight years since Steph and I brought two little kids home and started the journey of adoption. Eight years later I’m still learning how to be a father. And, eight years later Bryanna and Michael are still teaching me about my heavenly father and how He loves me.

Numbers

2009-04-15T06:39:00.000-04:00

This past weekend was Easter. We had 809 people show up to 3 services. First let me put that number in context:

We have been averaging 425-450 people for the last several months
The last several weeks we have crept up to around 500 in regular attendance.

I know what many of you are thinking. It’s not about the numbers, right? I’m going to stick my neck out and give you my opinion... IT IS MOST DEFINITELY ABOUT THE NUMBERS! That number represents people... people that need Jesus. We want large numbers to come so we can tell them about Jesus, that they were created on purpose and God has a plan for their lives. He wants them to be a part of His family.

A couple of random things about the number:

We limited advertising this year and depended on our attenders to invite their friends.
We believed God was going to do something big and acted on it. Our senior pastor, Scott Flippin, mobilized a team to build an additional classroom in an unfinished part of our building to handle extra children. Those involved didn’t question or doubt what God was going to do. The room was put together (framing, wiring, drywall, painting, lighting, furniture and decor) in 10 days.
We are not in competition with other churches. I was hesitant to even publish the number for fear that it might sound like that. We are in competition with culture (television, sporting events, leisure activities and doing nothing).

This afternoon I was reading in Deuteronomy 9 and God was telling the people of Israel that He wasn’t giving them the promised land because they were so good. No, His focus was on the current inhabitants of the land. He didn’t bless us this weekend because our church is so great or the staff did such a good job with preparations or because the volunteers were inspired to build a new classroom. No, His focus was on the ones that don’t know Him yet. That’s where our focus should be, too, down to the last number.

Doggone

2009-04-08T06:14:00.000-04:00

I love our dog. She is a 10 year old Labrador retriever. The bad thing about retrievers, though, is that they retrieve things. Sometimes in the summer we let the cucumbers get too big before we pick them. If they are no good, we throw them down through the woods. Later we find them back in our yard… because we have a retriever.

Right now our yard is strewn with various parts of deer skeletons left over from hunts last fall; an assortment of small bones, larger bones, a skull and an entire rib cage. I tossed them all down into the woods the other day before I mowed. Today they are all back… because we have a retriever.

The thought occurred to me though that of all the things God is, He’s not a retriever when it comes to our screw ups. When we make mistakes, we acknowledge it, ask forgiveness and He never brings it up to us again (Psalm 103:12). We don’t constantly have to step over old bones from our past. Other people might remind us, but God doesn’t. That’s a good feeling. Stepping on a half rotten cucumber – not so good.

Near Miss

2009-04-05T16:53:00.000-04:00

There are a couple of indicators in my life that show when I am too busy. One of them is my car and the other is my desk.

When my car gets really, really messy and you can’t see the floor for all the Wendy’s bags waiting to be thrown away, it means that I have been on the road too much. I’ve been consumed by events, Scout meetings, family functions and various other showers and birthday parties. And it most likely means that I’m running on empty, I’ve been stretched too thin and I need some rest.

The other indicator is my desk. When my desk gets messy, it shows that I am too busy and I’m probably not managing my time well. When I have a lot to do, I feel the pressure of needing to get it done. When I finish the main part of a task, instead of seeing it to the end and filing what needs to be filed, I leave it on my desk thinking I’ll file everything at one time and I move on to the next task. This situation occurs because I get great satisfaction out of being able to check something off of my “to do” list.

Yesterday evening, my pastor called and needed to know where a set of plans were. They were rolled up under my desk and he had to go in and get them. The first thought that ran through my mind was a mental picture of what my desk looked like when I left the office. The next thoughts were of my pastor being buried alive under an avalanche of papers. He would most likely sustain serious, if not critical, life-threatening injuries and wouldn’t be found until the next morning when the first of the staff arrived at the office.

Thankfully, he was able to retrieve the plans without incident. It served as a good reminder, though that I’m not helping myself by moving on to the next task. I’m really only slowing myself down because of the extra time it takes to find things in the mess.

So, how are your desk and your car? It’s good to have a couple of indicators to let you know how busy you are and if you are making time for God, for your family, and for your best work.

You Might Be A Nerd If...

2009-03-30T09:07:00.000-04:00

I’m a nerd. There, I said it. It’s out in the open. There’s no need to hide it anymore. For too many years I’ve even denied it myself trying to convince myself that if I buy certain clothes or hang out with certain people it wouldn’t be true. Yeah, sure everyone does that in high school, but not usually when they’re 40.

In case you’ve been wondering about your own nerd orientation, I decided to put together a list of clues that might help you come to terms with your identity.

Ten Clues You Might Be A Nerd

You download more podcasts than songs to your iPod.
Not only do you use a day planner, but you have customized it using www.diyplanner.com.
You buy computer bags based on their ability to store and organize your pens.
You read non-fiction books for fun.
You have a hard time getting rid of books because you’ve highlighted passages, you’ve written notes in the margins, and you are sure you’ll use them as a resource later.
You don’t use financial management software. You would rather put together your own customized spreadsheet with your own formulas.
You favorite features on your new cell phone are the calendar and the task scheduler.
On a Sunday afternoon, you are more excited about Tiger’s last hole birdie to win than you are about Carolina moving on to the Final Four.
Your wife continually makes subtle little comments like, “You’re such a nerd.”
You write a blog.

I ran from my identity in high school but now I can embrace it because I’ve learned that I am not an accident. I can celebrate it because I know that God made me this way for a purpose. There are things I can do for Him and His people that no one else can do. I’m special… and you are, too.

If this list describes you, I’m having a meeting next Thursday. Bring your pens.

Long Live The 80's

2009-03-26T13:11:00.000-04:00

Let me start by saying that I love music. Every significant era in my life can be defined by music. Because I love music so much, I have to admit I also have developed a deep love for my iPod, but that’s a story for another post.

I have tried to instill my love of music in my kids and I think they are getting it. I have a playlist for them on my iPod that we listen to every morning on the way to school. I call it the “Morning Mix” so I include music that is upbeat that will get us singing, playing air guitar and air drums. Michael has even perfected some dance moves that he can do even in the confines of his seatbelt.

Some of the songs I added are my favorites from back in the 80’s (where all great music comes from). Yesterday we were listening to What I Like About You by The Romantics and I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Bryanna was dancing. That concerned me because Bryanna gets her rhythm from Stephanie (again, a topic for another post) and I was afraid that she might hurt herself or do substantial damage to the car. When I looked over at her though, she wasn’t dancing. During the chorus, “That’s what I like about you, that’s what I like about you!” she was pointing both index fingers to the ceiling as if pointing to God. She was worshipping! She was taking the lyrics of this song and redirecting them to our Father. At seeing this, a couple of thoughts ran through my head.

First, I am so thankful for our church. The programs her and Michael are involved in are making such a difference in their lives. I have noticed consistent changes in them both. For example, I have noticed a change in their prayers which are becoming less about them and the things they want and more about the needs of other people. And, I have noticed them showing more of an interest in reading their Bibles. Many times they will reach for their Bible instead of Junie B. Jones. Now this!

Secondly, it just drives home the point that there is no defined formula for worship. Worship is not directly related to a Chris Tomlin song and doesn’t have to take place in a church on Sunday. It comes from the heart and a desire to connect with God. If your heart is searching for Him, why does it surprise us to find Him in the lyrics “You’re whispering in my ear, tell me all the things that I wanna to hear”? He tells us what we want to hear. Things like, “I love you and I accept you”, “You’re not an accident. I made you with purpose”, and “I want the very best for you.”

Sometimes I forget to look for Him in the everyday things. I’m glad Bryanna and The Romantics reminded me. Long live the 80’s!

To Blog or Not To Blog

2009-03-26T06:32:00.000-04:00

Hi, my name is Don. In my first post I want to tell you a little about my self and why I decided to start a blog.

I am the executive pastor of a small church in southwest Virginia (www.blueridgefellowship.com). I am married to Stephanie and have two kids, Bryanna and Michael. I’m sure you will get to know them better through some of my posts.

It’s a little intimidating to start writing a blog. First of all, I think it’s presumptuous to think that anyone would want to read it. With so many good writers out there, why would anyone want to read my blog? Also, I am opening myself up to criticism of my thoughts, ideas and beliefs. Am I crazy to even consider it? Yes. But, here’s why I am doing it anyway:

I have loved to write for a long time. In high school I was a features writer for the high school paper. After that I didn’t write for a long time until about 5 years ago when I went back to college to get my bachelor’s degree. I had a psychology professor that required us to write three entries each week in a journal. Through that I rediscovered my love for writing and since then I have continued keeping a journal. I am not saying that I am a good writer, I’m just saying I like to write. I like creativity and I like humor.
I think that it will help me look at events in my life a little differently. In other words, I think it will help me look for a different angle, a lesson to learn, something to share in the everyday happenings of my life.
Hopefully, it will make me look more critically at my writing and improve over time.

Some of my posts will be about what I am learning in my daily quiet time, others will be about family life and simple observations. I look forward to getting started.

Man, this first one sucked didn’t it?