Easy Doesn't Work

Last year, I decided to lose some weight. And I did. I ended up losing about 35 lbs. Sometimes people will ask me how I did it. When I tell them that I ate a lot less than before and cut way back on processed food and nearly cut out sugar completely, I can see their expression change to one that resembles disappointment. That’s not what they want to hear. I get the feeling that most people are hoping I’ll tell them about a new pill or a shot that I took that made my butt fall off. Or that I drank a tablespoon of vinegar before every meal and my third chin simply went away. People want something easy. They want a remedy that will allow them to reach their goals without changing their lifestyle.

I’ve read a couple of articles recently that suggest that Americans are addicted to comfort. One in particular suggested that this addiction is at least partly responsible for the opioid epidemic because the modern American has no threshold for discomfort, much less pain.

What does all this mean? I have no idea. All I know is that I don’t like the idea of being thought of as soft even though I am prone to choose the path of least resistance more than I’d like to admit. Since I lost weight last year, this year I am going to try to get fit. I am going to do hard stuff to make me stronger. I am going to subject myself to discomfort. And not just for fitness sake, but partly because I want to know if I have what it takes. Can I do hard stuff? I think so and I think I’ll be better for trying.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

A couple of months ago, I had my 50th birthday and I have to be honest: it bothered me. I’m not one that has ever dreaded getting older, I just think with this milestone it hit me harder than normal about how quickly time passes. Take the last 10 years, for instance. They flew by and I didn’t get nearly all the stuff accomplished I wanted to. In fact, there’s not a lot of difference between where I am now and where I was then. And I think the hardest thing about it is the realization that I’m responsible. I’m the one that didn’t follow through on the goals. I’m the one that didn’t implement and move forward. I’m the one that chose television and social media over personal growth.

But here’s the good news: if it’s on me, then I can fix it. That is liberating. You see, if you are constantly blaming someone else for what’s going on (or not going on) in your life, then you have voluntarily surrendered control of the situation. You are a prisoner of the circumstance. But the moment you take ownership and assert the idea that not only are you the problem, but you are the ONLY solution, you are instantly empowered to steer your own destiny.

Of course, I understand that things happen outside of our control that we can’t change, but if you operate under the idea that you alone can effect change in your life, almost every situation can be improved by improving the one common denominator in all of your problems… YOU!

One of my favorite times of the year is New Years. The possibilities and potential of the upcoming year give me great optimism and right now I am very optimistic about the next ten years. Nothing changes unless something changes and I am changing attitudes and habits.

To kick it off right, I will be starting the new year with an all night ruck starting at midnight. It may be hard and uncomfortable, but most worthwhile things usually are.

Please message me with any changes you are hoping to make this new year and I will root you on.

Stop In The Name Of Love

My family accuses me of being a Grinch. They ask me every year why I hate Christmas and I always tell them that I love Christmas… DAY. It’s the three months leading up to Christmas Day that I hate. The music, the decorations, the traffic, the commercials, the piles of trash and gifts that you don’t particularly need or want. Whenever the kids would bring up Santa, I would wrinkle my nose and tell them I really don’t care for him. This holiday is really about Jesus, but I felt that He was mostly overshadowed by the fat guy, I would say. Then they would get this worried look on their face because they were afraid my disrespect of Santa would negatively impact their anticipated windfall come Christmas morning. Yup, for me it is all about Jesus. Except when it isn’t.

This year my wife and I were asked to sing at the church candlelight service and we graciously accepted. But as the season became more and more busy, the practice required became more and more of a chore leading up to the service. And then on the day of the service, we were cleaning in preparation for family coming over the next morning. That’s when it happened. For a moment, well maybe a minute or two, I regretted the decision to help out at church. We were just too busy trying to get everything ready. We should never have agreed to be a part of the event. And then it hit me. I had lost focus. The thing I cherish most about the season was being overshadowed by dust bunnies. Instantly, my attitude shifted. The tension and stress melted out of my body as I realized it really didn’t matter if the house wasn’t perfect because we’re not perfect. And that imperfection was recognized and redeemed by a baby and that is something worth stopping and celebrating smack dab in the middle of a busy season.

Merry Christmas!

I Don't Believe It...

What are your core beliefs about life? What principles do you know will make your life better?

There are some principles I believe to be true that will help me be successful. But when I step back and take a look at how I behave, the argument could be made that I don't really believe those things at all. If another person were to look at my life with no other information, they might conclude that I believe something totally different than what I say I believe. They might say the evidence shows that I believe sugar and social media are good for me. Or that television is a top priority and relationships are lower on the list. They might say that I believe inconsistency is the pathway to better health, financial success and spiritual connectedness.

So what does your life say about what you believe?

Warning! This May Be Habit Forming.

 

I’ve been reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This book is about how neurological pathways are created in our brains that form deep rooted habits. So deep in fact that they are more powerful than even memory. He talks about how some of these pathways are created unintentionally, but others we have control over. 

By understanding the components of the habit loop (cue, routine, reward), we can construct beneficial habits in our lives. Some of these habits are considered “keystone” habits because they don’t just affect one part of our lives but they bleed over into other areas.

One of these keystone habits is exercise. Research shows that people who create the habit of exercise, see improvements in other areas of their lives. For instance, they started eating better. That seems reasonable. You might think that is just a subconscious attempt to protect the investment of the exercise itself. But the test subjects also saw increased discipline and improvement in the areas of finance, job performance and the quality of their relationships.

In his book Sovereignty, Ryan Michler said that starting an exercise program was the catalyst for change in all areas of his life. He says that he believes all change needed for a better quality of life starts in the gym.

I’ve always hated going the the gym, so about three weeks ago I started working on the habit of exercise every morning in my basement. I do some body weight training in intervals for about 20 minutes. At this point, my focus is not on the results but on consistency so those neurological pathways will be formed. Later I will consider adding weights or other equipment for specific fitness goals, but now it’s all about the habit.

What habits do you need to form?

To Pink Or Not To Pink...

A while back, I had an idea for a shirt.  It was meant to be funny, but as Steph and I finished it up, I immediately started wondering how people would react to it.  I was afraid people might take it the wrong way.

Here's the deal.  This was an attempt, with tongue firmly embedded in cheek, to refuse to let people define my manhood.  The issue of manhood has grown increasingly more important of late as I have a fifteen year old son.  Through his whole life, I have tried to instill in him what I believe are the qualities of a real man.  Integrity, honor, patriotism, compassion, generosity, etc., etc.  But there are groups out there that want to discount what I believe to be the qualities of a real man.  One that comes to mind is all the AXE products out there.  Apparently all you need to do to be a real man is purchase and use their body wash or deodorant.

So I guess all the shirts I see out there that say "Real men wear pink." seemed to be an easy target.  Still, though, my goal was a chuckle rather than social discourse.

But if you want to get philosophical, here you go.  I know some real manly men who have never wore a stitch of pink in their entire lives.  I also know some real turds that wear pink almost every day that wouldn't know a real man if one spit some Beechnut in his eye. 

Maybe now would be a good time to discuss what the shirt does not say.  It doesn't say that I hate pink or people who wear pink.  It doesn't say that I hate breast cancer victims.  It doesn't say that I think a real man is hard and cold and void of compassion or that a real man wouldn't lovingly support anyone in a tough spot.

And while we're talking about the "Wear It Pink" campaign, what does it hope to accomplish?  I keep hearing that it is to raise awareness about breast cancer.  That sounds all well and good but what does raising awareness do? Jack Squat unless there is a dollar sign associated with it.  I would have to guess there are most likely many real men who have given financially to the Susan G. Komen Foundation who have never worn a pink shirt.

So, if my shirt offends you, I'm sorry.  But read it again.  I don't think it says what you think it says.

Not So Manic Monday

I guess it doesn't come as a surprise to most of you that I am a little different. Most people spend all week looking forward to the weekend and spend all weekend dreading the inevitability of Monday morning. Not me. I do look forward to the weekend, but to me Monday isn't as foreboding as it is to some.

To me Monday represents something totally different. It represents a new beginning. The mistakes and inefficiencies of the past week are, well... past. It represents a brand new opportunity to be successful, to grow from last week's experience, to be better. There is a renewed sense of hope. I feel refreshed, energized and ready to tackle life.

How about you? How do you approach Mondays? Is it a drudgery or do you choose to look for the positive?