Stop In The Name Of Love

My family accuses me of being a Grinch. They ask me every year why I hate Christmas and I always tell them that I love Christmas… DAY. It’s the three months leading up to Christmas Day that I hate. The music, the decorations, the traffic, the commercials, the piles of trash and gifts that you don’t particularly need or want. Whenever the kids would bring up Santa, I would wrinkle my nose and tell them I really don’t care for him. This holiday is really about Jesus, but I felt that He was mostly overshadowed by the fat guy, I would say. Then they would get this worried look on their face because they were afraid my disrespect of Santa would negatively impact their anticipated windfall come Christmas morning. Yup, for me it is all about Jesus. Except when it isn’t.

This year my wife and I were asked to sing at the church candlelight service and we graciously accepted. But as the season became more and more busy, the practice required became more and more of a chore leading up to the service. And then on the day of the service, we were cleaning in preparation for family coming over the next morning. That’s when it happened. For a moment, well maybe a minute or two, I regretted the decision to help out at church. We were just too busy trying to get everything ready. We should never have agreed to be a part of the event. And then it hit me. I had lost focus. The thing I cherish most about the season was being overshadowed by dust bunnies. Instantly, my attitude shifted. The tension and stress melted out of my body as I realized it really didn’t matter if the house wasn’t perfect because we’re not perfect. And that imperfection was recognized and redeemed by a baby and that is something worth stopping and celebrating smack dab in the middle of a busy season.

Merry Christmas!

Just Grow Up!

My plan this week was to pray for my church every day based on the purposes. Of course, I got behind. The good thing is that it's never too late to pray.

Today I want to pray that my church family will understand that God doesn't want them to stay where they are spiritually. We were created to become like Christ. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help to change us through scripture to become more like Christ in our conduct and our character. I pray that each of us will become more committed to a daily quiet time where we read, pray, and study.

"As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." 2 Corinthians 3:18b (NLT)

We Are Family

Today I want to take a minute and pray that my church will understand that they were formed for God’s family. God never intended for us to go through life alone. He made us to go through life as a part of a community of believers.

For those that have never taken the step, I pray that they will be baptized to make a public association with the family of God. I also pray that they will see their need to become more committed to our Sunday morning gathering. But most of all, I pray that they will get connected to a small group where they can build meaningful relationships. Where they can laugh, learn, and love with close friends.

“His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 1:5a (NLT)

Five For Five

The last couple of days the people in my church have really been on my heart. I know they are hurting because our pastor is sick, but that's not why I've been thinking about them. At least, not entirely. The main reason is that I want so badly for them to see all that God has planned for their lives. I don't want them to miss anything that God has in store for them. He has created us for a purpose, in fact 5 purposes.

It just occurred to me (I tend to be slow) that there are 5 purposes and there are also 5 days of the week. So this week I am going to pray for my church and for God's purposes to be played out in all our lives.

Today I pray that our church will know or be reminded that we were planned for God's pleasure. I pray that we will all remember that worship is more than the first 15 minutes of our Sunday service. God is holy and righteous. He is the creator of all things and He wants us to live our lives as a reflection of his glory. We can do the mundane things of our lives every day as an act of worship by doing them as if we were doing them for God and by talking continuously to Him through the process.

"The Lord is pleased with those who respect him,with those who trust his love." Psalms 147:11(NCV)

I'm Sick

Westboro Baptist Church makes me sick. No, not figuratively speaking. I literally get sick to my stomach when I hear a report on the news about them.

The things they say hurts. It hurts the church. It hurts the Kingdom. I have to believe it hurts God. And surely not least of all, it hurts the families whose funerals they protest.

God doesn't hate homosexuals. He hates homosexuality. He hates it in the same way that He hates lies, hates stealing, hates jealousy, and hates gluttony. He hates all those things, but thankfully for me, He loves the liar, the thief, the discontent, and the gluttonous. And, yes, He loves the homosexual.

One of the hardest things for most Christians is knowing the difference between approval and acceptance. You can accept one of God's very own creations, regardless of where they are spiritually, without approving of the lifestyle they have chosen.

I still don't feel any better.

Doggone It

Yesterday the kids and I went hiking at Pilot Knob. We took our dog Sadie with us. She's a Lab/Bulldog mix and is about a year and a half old. It was the first time she had been hiking with us, so she was trying to get used to the leash and the choke collar. But it didn't take her long to learn that when she went too far towards danger, the collar would tighten and become very uncomfortable. Soon she was walking happily at my left leg with the collar draped loosely.

While we were walking, I was reminded of a Chip Ingram tape I heard several years ago. He was talking about God's Laws and how they are not meant to oppress us, but to protect us.

I didn't put the collar on Sadie to be mean or to give her an unnecessary burden to carry. When she learned how it worked, she was perfectly happy to walk right beside of me. She was still able to play and explore the trail we were on while staying away from the danger of the steep ledges.

Many people see Christianity as nothing more than a list of do's and don't's meant to smother us and take all the fun out of life. But the Bible says that there is great freedom in salvation. In fact, it's not really about the rules at all. It's about realizing that all God wants is a relationship with us and the most comfortable place to be in that relationship is right by his side.

GOAL!... GOAL!... GOAL!

There's a guy that lives on my road. Now, I'm a terrible judge of age but I would have to guess that he is in his late-60s or early-70s. Most mornings for the last year, on my way to take the kids to school, I see him running. Not out on the road, but just around the perimeter of his yard he runs. He doesn't have all of the cool running clothes or even an athletic gait, but he runs. With his shoulders slightly slumped forward, he runs. Leaning into the hills as he goes around, he runs. With a steel-willed look in his eyes, he runs. Every morning. Apparently, at some point, he had set a goal that he was going to start running and that is exactly what he has been doing.

A couple of weeks ago, when the temperatures were in the teens every day, I really didn't expect to see him. In fact, I secretly hoped that I wouldn't. I think some dark part of myself wanted him to fail at this goal, because if he did, it would make him like most others. It would make him like me. But even in brutal temperatures, he runs.

After the big snow last weekend, the kids haven't had school so I haven't seen him. Today they finally went back 2 hours late and I still didn't see him, but I saw his path in the snow. The place he has been running has melted just like the tire tracks in my own driveway... from use. Even in the snow, he runs.

Today I changed. I no longer hope for him to fail. Today I root for him to succeed. He is just like I want to be. Different.

I had already decided to spend today out of the office to work on my goals for this year. So, I am in an undisclosed coffee shop, drinking an undisclosed number of cafe' mochas, seeking God and his purposes for my life, and the God-sized goals he wants me to tackle this year.

Pray for me. Pray that I will sense His leading. Pray that this year I'll be different.

Reckless Abandon

Over Christmas, Stephanie and I got Michael a new mountain bike. He's been riding an old, heavy one and we thought it was time to get him one he could ride successfully on trails. One that was lighter, and a little tougher, and one that the gears worked better on so he could climb better.

I know that he is an adventurous, risk-taking boy, but when we went to Fisher River Park to ride this past Saturday, I saw a new facet to his personality. There were sections of the trail that I didn't believe that he would be able to navigate. Thankfully, at each one of these sections there were ways to go around the obstacle, whether it be a log crossing or a big root. Usually, I would go first and then turn back to coach him and Bryanna. When Bryanna would get to a rough spot, she approached it much like I would. She is cautious and calculating, evaluating the risks. But as Michael approached, I would watch his face. Never once did I see a glimpse of uncertainty or hesitation. It was like the option to go around never entered his brain. He never considered bailing out. All he knew was to hit it head on with everything he had.

Yesterday, Scott preached a great message on goal setting. One of the things he said was that in order to be successful you have to separate the decision-making from the trouble-shooting. In other words, you can't let the possibility of future failures keep you from setting goals in the present. Deciding not to set a goal that will make you a better husband or father or employee because you're afraid of failure is not an option.

As you continue to work on goals for this year, look your obstacles right in the eye as if there is not an option to go around, as if there is not an option to stay in the same place you are and not get better. If you would like a copy of that message from Sunday, let me know.

Man Up

I was reading this morning in 2 Kings, chapter 2. David was near death and was issuing a charge to his son, Solomon. In that charge he said, "Be strong, and show yourself a man..." I thought it was interesting because David didn't define what kind of man. Apparently, to him a man has certain character traits by definition. And he must have believed that Solomon knew what he was talking about because he didn't explain to him what kind of man to be.

So what does it mean to be a man? Yesterday I happened across a blog that posted a series on how to be a better man in 30 days. I would love to hear what you think. Ladies, too.

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

Over the summer I actually lost some weight playing golf. I know that sounds counterintuitive because most people don't see golf as a sport. But every time we played, we walked, and coincidentally, every time we played it was literally impossible for me to sit on the couch and eat cookies. Since golf season has ended for us, I have gained almost all of the weight back, so I decided to look for an activity that the kids and I could do over the winter. I used to ride mountain bikes and I thought that would be a good sport to introduce them to. It's fun, challenging and it's something they will be able to participate in for years to come.

Since starting to ride, it's been fun to see them develop skills. When we get to a difficult part in the trail, we'll stop and talk about what is the best way to negotiate the section. I noticed, though that these talks aren't just about mountain biking. Mountain biking is giving me yet another opportunity to teach them about life and faith. Here are some lessons we're learning:

1. Never look where you don't want to go. Plain and simple. You will steer the bike where you are looking. If there is an obstacle, such as a large hole, that you want to avoid, you will run in it every time if you focus on it. The same is true concerning temptations and bad habits in life. My pastor talked about this just this past Sunday. He told a great story about being at home alone with a piece of his daughter's pie. He was focusing on the pie and came very close to eating it. If you are trying to lose weight you can't focus on the food you can't have. You have to focus on where you want to go instead.

2. Never take obstacles sitting down. When you come to a rough patch in the trail, you can't stay on the seat and hope everything turns out all right. You have to build momentum and then stand on the pedals. Your legs will act like shock absorbers and your balance will be better. Similarly, when you experience difficult times in life, be proactive. Don't let stuff happen and hope that it turns out all right. We don't always see what's coming, but the point is don't just be a victim. Find the best route and go for it.

3. Never give up. Bryanna and Michael aren't used to this kind of riding so they crash a lot. Of course, I've been riding on and off for years and I still crash a lot. And yes, it hurts when you hit the ground, but you have to get back on the bike. As humans, we are not perfect. We fall. We get hurt. We get dirty. But you can't give up. When you fall to that temptation that continually nags at you, don't just lay there defeated. GET UP! Now that's not to say you should ride 50 yards out of the trail to go through some mud like Michael does, but when you fail, and you will, know that God loves you and He is always looking for you to return to Him.

Are there any activities in your life that are helping you teach your kids? Or that may be teaching you a few lessons? I'd love to hear about it. Please comment below.

A Pack of Mild Dogs

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything here, but it's been a busy summer. I didn't take the time to write and you probably wouldn't have taken the time to read if I had. But now school is back in and most things have returned to normal or some reasonable facsimile thereof so I thought I would write about something I saw the other day that really got me to thinking.

Last week I got to work early and went up to the church to get some things before coming back to the office. As I was coming back to my car, I noticed a pack of dogs crossing the parking lot. At first I was nervous because I know that when dogs form a pack like that, even in a residential area, they can become aggressive. I've heard stories about packs of dogs attacking and killing livestock. But, my fears subsided when I noticed that there was an obvious leader to this pack. There was a dog out front whom the others followed. When he turned, they turned. When he stopped to sniff the air, they stopped. When he licked his butt, ...well, you get the idea. The leader was a basset hound. Yes, this was a pack of mild dogs. It seemed as though the entire pack had assumed at least part of the personality of their leader.

When I saw this, it got me to thinking about some of the leaders I've served under and even my own leadership style. Here's a couple of types I've ran across over the years and characteristics I've seen in myself.

• The chihuahua - Have you ever seen a leader that tried to lead out of pure noise? All they do is bark, but when it comes time to make a tough decision or hold someone accountable, they hide under the couch.
• The pit bull - Some people try to lead out of intimidation. They keep their subordinates in a constant state of fear that they will be ridiculed in front of their peers, lose their job, or worse yet, have to change toners in the copy machine.
• The lab - Some leaders try to make everyone happy and be everyone's friend. They are fun loving, but are usually so personally involved with their subordinates, that tough decisions aren't objective and leave a wake of hurt and bitterness.

John Maxwell says that leadership is nothing more than influence. If you are leading and no one is following, you are simply out for a walk. I heard it put another way by a dad who was trying to develop leadership skills in his son in the Boy Scouts. He said, "Son, don't make the other scouts help you. Make them want to help you."

So what kind of leader are you? What kind of leaders have you served under?

Confessions Of A Golf Addict

I have a confession to make. In an earlier post, I said that this summer I was getting back into cycling. The ugly truth is, I haven't been riding in about six weeks. Why? I definitely still need the exercise. The reason is that I just don't have time.

Here's another confession: I love golf. No, seriously, I really love golf. I watch it on television, I look up stats on the internet, I read player profiles... I LOVE golf. But more than golf, I love hanging out with my family and God has blessed me that they like golf, too.

Last summer we started playing together (you can see a video from last year at www.facebook.com/donboyles, go to my videos) and we're playing again this year. We go out to Pine Ridge Golf Course and walk the course three or four times each week. That doesn't leave much time for cycling, but it's worth it.

My prayer is that Bryanna and Michael remember these times forever. The times they've made a great shot and we all did the "golf clap". The times they asked to go play and we went even though the yard needed mowing. The times we've stopped in the middle of a round and sat under a tree and just talked. The times they played really good and beat Dad.

I can't say that I'm making a huge sacrifice for my kids, but I'm trying to be intentional about spending time with them and golf is a great medium for doing that. While playing there's plenty of time to talk, there are life lessons to be learned about patience, competition, integrity, and politeness. And there are limitless opportunities to celebrate God's creation.

Sure, I'm not getting as much exercise as I would cycling, but I think I'm getting a whole lot more... even when I get beat.

Square Pegs

Who says the Bible is boring?  There is a story in Judges 4, where this chick drives a tent peg through a guy's head.  This could be a scene in a Quentin Tarantino movie.  Boring?  I think not.

But, then something interesting happened... they wrote a song about it.  I'm sure it was rock and roll, because I can't imagine a song about a guy with a tent peg in his head set to easy listening music... or adult contemporary for that matter.  Why did they write it?  So that people would remember what the Lord had done and it could be celebrated.  They knew that their stories in song would help the faith of others.

The same is true for you.  Has the Lord done something cool in your life?  If he has, and I'm sure he has, you have to tell someone.  In fact, you should tell as many people as you can.  You owe it to them, because it will strengthen their faith.  There might be someone in your life that needs a booster shot, or that is not quite a believer yet.  A great story might help them inch closer to the one that can change their life.

You don't have to write a song about it.  Most of us don't have that talent.  And there's a lot of us that don't have any business singing either.  But, you can put them in stories and pray for opportunities to share them.

Where There's Smoke...

One of my greatest friend's is a guy named Rick Powers.  He has been a mentor to me and over the years has really challenged me in my faith.  He called me the other week while we were camping, but I haven't called him back yet.  

The last couple of days I've been thinking a lot about him.  I would like to see Rick, but seeing him always makes me uncomfortable because he always challenges me.  He always makes me realize how far I have to go... how little I know... how little I try... how I need to be more disciplined.  He doesn't accomplish this by judging me or condemning me, but just by the way he lives out his faith.  He probably doesn't even know the impact he has on me.

Rick makes me feel uncomfortable, but Perry Noble says discomfort is good.  In fact, he says that being comfortable is bad.  Being uncomfortable brings about growth and refinement.

One of Rick's favorite verses is "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." Prov. 27:17(NIV).  In the literal sense, when sharpening takes place, the result is friction and heat.  That's not comfortable.

I sharpened my lawnmower blades last week and sure enough there was smoke, sparks and dust.  It was a messy process, but in the end the blades were in a better condition to fulfill their purpose.

I called Rick this morning and left him a voicemail.  It's time to get uncomfortable.  Is there someone in your life that makes you better?  I'd love to hear about them.

You Look Mahvelous!

"As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him.  And he did not permit him but said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."  And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him and everyone marveled."   Mark 3:18-20(ESV)

Saturday night, we baptized a guy at our church.  Pastor Scott asked him what the Lord has done for him and he said, "He's changed my life and is helping me get off booze.  I've been sober for three months."  He told how much the Lord had done for him and everyone marveled.

Does evangelism freak you out a little bit?  If you're like me, you want to tell your friends about Jesus, but you don't want to come across like one of those guys on the street corner screaming at people.  Or maybe you're afraid that you don't understand all the theology wrapped up in salvation well enough to explain it to someone.  Well, you don't have to.  All you have to say is what the Lord has done for you, "This is who I was.  This is who I am now."  People will marvel.

It's Just Like Riding A Bike

It's been a while since I've written a blog, but it's been a very busy spring so far.  There have been cookouts to go to and yard work to be done.  I've also decided this spring that I'm going to get back into cycling.  I used to ride several years back and when I was riding, I felt good.  First of all, I felt healthier and that by itself is enough to continue, but I also felt a sense of accomplishment.  Anytime I would complete a distance longer than any I had done before or climb a mountain a little bit faster than I did previously, I felt like I had really done something.

To get back to riding, I first had to make time, so I decided which days and times I would ride.  Nothing gets accomplished without a plan.  Then I stopped by the bike shop one day just to see what was going on in the biking world since I had been gone.  I talked to the owner, Richard, and told him I was thinking of getting back into riding.  The first thing he told me about was the group rides that take place every week.  With all the advances in equipment, with lighter bikes and more comfortable clothing, why would he tell me about the group rides?  Because he's smart.  From a business stand point, Richard knows that if I get connected with people, that I am more likely to stay in cycling and not drift back to the couch.  If I stay in cycling, I am more likely to come back in to his shop and make purchases.  But from a personal stand point, I believe that he really wants me to enjoy cycling the way he enjoys it.  I believe he knows that the best way for me to learn and advance as a cyclist is to be around other cyclist who are better and faster than I am.  He knows I'll learn techniques to help me improve and my involvement in cycling will be more fulfilling.

Immediately I began to see the parallels as they relate to church.  I know that if people get connected through volunteering or small groups in our church, they are more likely to stay.  But deep down, I want them to experience the same joy of being a believer that I do.  I know that the best way for people to grow spiritually is to be in community with other people who are perhaps a little farther along in their faith than they are or have different life experiences than they do.  I know they'll learn principles that will make their life more fulfilling.

People tell me all the time that they want to go deeper in their faith.  Maybe, that's what you're thinking.  Are you involved in a small group with other people or are you serving together with a group?  You should try it.  It's just like riding a bike.  There will be some hills to climb, but there's nothing like the thrill of coming down the other side.  And you'll be stronger for it.

I May Be On A Diet

Scripture challenges me.  Many times when I'm reading, a passage jumps off the page at me.  It causes me to look at my life critically.

This morning, I was reading the beatitudes in Matthew 5.  I've read them many times before and I remember studying them in Vacation Bible School as a kid.  But this morning, verse 6 jumped out at me.  It says, "Blesses are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" (ESV).

Reading that caused me to ask the question - How hungry am I for righteousness?  How intense is my appetite?  When I get hungry for food, there is very little that can stand in my way of getting it - SERIOUSLY!  You can look at me and tell I don't miss many meals.

Here's what I find, though:  I am starved for righteousness - in other people's lives.  In my dealings with others, I can always see how they could be more righteous and make better decisions.  I crave righteousness for them especially when it's me that's not being treated very well.  In my life, however, not so much.  Oh sure, I want to do the right thing, I want to treat people fairly, I want to live with integrity, but am I hungry for it?  Do I have a deep, internal craving for good?

How about you?  How hungry are you?

Lessons From Kids

God is love. I’m still trying to learn that lesson.

I used to have a very hard time reconciling the angry, judgmental God of the Old Testament with the loving, forgiving God of the New Testament.  What made it even harder was the legalistic churches I had attended.  Back then it was all about the rules.  You had to wear the right clothes, watch the right TV shows (or certainly not watch the wrong ones), read the right Bible, say the right things... to make God love you more.

All of that changed, that whole perspective, when we had kids.  I then saw how angry I could get when they subverted my attempts to keep them safe while at the same time loving them so much I can’t even describe it.  It all started to make sense.

This weekend marks eight years since Steph and I brought two little kids home and started the journey of adoption.  Eight years later I’m still learning how to be a father.  And, eight years later Bryanna and Michael are still teaching me about my heavenly father and how He loves me.

Doggone

I love our dog. She is a 10 year old Labrador retriever. The bad thing about retrievers, though, is that they retrieve things. Sometimes in the summer we let the cucumbers get too big before we pick them. If they are no good, we throw them down through the woods. Later we find them back in our yard… because we have a retriever.

Right now our yard is strewn with various parts of deer skeletons left over from hunts last fall; an assortment of small bones, larger bones, a skull and an entire rib cage. I tossed them all down into the woods the other day before I mowed. Today they are all back… because we have a retriever.

The thought occurred to me though that of all the things God is, He’s not a retriever when it comes to our screw ups. When we make mistakes, we acknowledge it, ask forgiveness and He never brings it up to us again (Psalm 103:12). We don’t constantly have to step over old bones from our past. Other people might remind us, but God doesn’t. That’s a good feeling. Stepping on a half rotten cucumber – not so good.

Near Miss

There are a couple of indicators in my life that show when I am too busy. One of them is my car and the other is my desk.

When my car gets really, really messy and you can’t see the floor for all the Wendy’s bags waiting to be thrown away, it means that I have been on the road too much. I’ve been consumed by events, Scout meetings, family functions and various other showers and birthday parties. And it most likely means that I’m running on empty, I’ve been stretched too thin and I need some rest.

The other indicator is my desk. When my desk gets messy, it shows that I am too busy and I’m probably not managing my time well. When I have a lot to do, I feel the pressure of needing to get it done. When I finish the main part of a task, instead of seeing it to the end and filing what needs to be filed, I leave it on my desk thinking I’ll file everything at one time and I move on to the next task. This situation occurs because I get great satisfaction out of being able to check something off of my “to do” list.

Yesterday evening, my pastor called and needed to know where a set of plans were. They were rolled up under my desk and he had to go in and get them. The first thought that ran through my mind was a mental picture of what my desk looked like when I left the office. The next thoughts were of my pastor being buried alive under an avalanche of papers. He would most likely sustain serious, if not critical, life-threatening injuries and wouldn’t be found until the next morning when the first of the staff arrived at the office.

Thankfully, he was able to retrieve the plans without incident. It served as a good reminder, though that I’m not helping myself by moving on to the next task. I’m really only slowing myself down because of the extra time it takes to find things in the mess.

So, how are your desk and your car? It’s good to have a couple of indicators to let you know how busy you are and if you are making time for God, for your family, and for your best work.