Easy Doesn't Work

Last year, I decided to lose some weight. And I did. I ended up losing about 35 lbs. Sometimes people will ask me how I did it. When I tell them that I ate a lot less than before and cut way back on processed food and nearly cut out sugar completely, I can see their expression change to one that resembles disappointment. That’s not what they want to hear. I get the feeling that most people are hoping I’ll tell them about a new pill or a shot that I took that made my butt fall off. Or that I drank a tablespoon of vinegar before every meal and my third chin simply went away. People want something easy. They want a remedy that will allow them to reach their goals without changing their lifestyle.

I’ve read a couple of articles recently that suggest that Americans are addicted to comfort. One in particular suggested that this addiction is at least partly responsible for the opioid epidemic because the modern American has no threshold for discomfort, much less pain.

What does all this mean? I have no idea. All I know is that I don’t like the idea of being thought of as soft even though I am prone to choose the path of least resistance more than I’d like to admit. Since I lost weight last year, this year I am going to try to get fit. I am going to do hard stuff to make me stronger. I am going to subject myself to discomfort. And not just for fitness sake, but partly because I want to know if I have what it takes. Can I do hard stuff? I think so and I think I’ll be better for trying.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

A couple of months ago, I had my 50th birthday and I have to be honest: it bothered me. I’m not one that has ever dreaded getting older, I just think with this milestone it hit me harder than normal about how quickly time passes. Take the last 10 years, for instance. They flew by and I didn’t get nearly all the stuff accomplished I wanted to. In fact, there’s not a lot of difference between where I am now and where I was then. And I think the hardest thing about it is the realization that I’m responsible. I’m the one that didn’t follow through on the goals. I’m the one that didn’t implement and move forward. I’m the one that chose television and social media over personal growth.

But here’s the good news: if it’s on me, then I can fix it. That is liberating. You see, if you are constantly blaming someone else for what’s going on (or not going on) in your life, then you have voluntarily surrendered control of the situation. You are a prisoner of the circumstance. But the moment you take ownership and assert the idea that not only are you the problem, but you are the ONLY solution, you are instantly empowered to steer your own destiny.

Of course, I understand that things happen outside of our control that we can’t change, but if you operate under the idea that you alone can effect change in your life, almost every situation can be improved by improving the one common denominator in all of your problems… YOU!

One of my favorite times of the year is New Years. The possibilities and potential of the upcoming year give me great optimism and right now I am very optimistic about the next ten years. Nothing changes unless something changes and I am changing attitudes and habits.

To kick it off right, I will be starting the new year with an all night ruck starting at midnight. It may be hard and uncomfortable, but most worthwhile things usually are.

Please message me with any changes you are hoping to make this new year and I will root you on.

Stop In The Name Of Love

My family accuses me of being a Grinch. They ask me every year why I hate Christmas and I always tell them that I love Christmas… DAY. It’s the three months leading up to Christmas Day that I hate. The music, the decorations, the traffic, the commercials, the piles of trash and gifts that you don’t particularly need or want. Whenever the kids would bring up Santa, I would wrinkle my nose and tell them I really don’t care for him. This holiday is really about Jesus, but I felt that He was mostly overshadowed by the fat guy, I would say. Then they would get this worried look on their face because they were afraid my disrespect of Santa would negatively impact their anticipated windfall come Christmas morning. Yup, for me it is all about Jesus. Except when it isn’t.

This year my wife and I were asked to sing at the church candlelight service and we graciously accepted. But as the season became more and more busy, the practice required became more and more of a chore leading up to the service. And then on the day of the service, we were cleaning in preparation for family coming over the next morning. That’s when it happened. For a moment, well maybe a minute or two, I regretted the decision to help out at church. We were just too busy trying to get everything ready. We should never have agreed to be a part of the event. And then it hit me. I had lost focus. The thing I cherish most about the season was being overshadowed by dust bunnies. Instantly, my attitude shifted. The tension and stress melted out of my body as I realized it really didn’t matter if the house wasn’t perfect because we’re not perfect. And that imperfection was recognized and redeemed by a baby and that is something worth stopping and celebrating smack dab in the middle of a busy season.

Merry Christmas!

I Don't Believe It...

What are your core beliefs about life? What principles do you know will make your life better?

There are some principles I believe to be true that will help me be successful. But when I step back and take a look at how I behave, the argument could be made that I don't really believe those things at all. If another person were to look at my life with no other information, they might conclude that I believe something totally different than what I say I believe. They might say the evidence shows that I believe sugar and social media are good for me. Or that television is a top priority and relationships are lower on the list. They might say that I believe inconsistency is the pathway to better health, financial success and spiritual connectedness.

So what does your life say about what you believe?

Warning! This May Be Habit Forming.

 

I’ve been reading The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. This book is about how neurological pathways are created in our brains that form deep rooted habits. So deep in fact that they are more powerful than even memory. He talks about how some of these pathways are created unintentionally, but others we have control over. 

By understanding the components of the habit loop (cue, routine, reward), we can construct beneficial habits in our lives. Some of these habits are considered “keystone” habits because they don’t just affect one part of our lives but they bleed over into other areas.

One of these keystone habits is exercise. Research shows that people who create the habit of exercise, see improvements in other areas of their lives. For instance, they started eating better. That seems reasonable. You might think that is just a subconscious attempt to protect the investment of the exercise itself. But the test subjects also saw increased discipline and improvement in the areas of finance, job performance and the quality of their relationships.

In his book Sovereignty, Ryan Michler said that starting an exercise program was the catalyst for change in all areas of his life. He says that he believes all change needed for a better quality of life starts in the gym.

I’ve always hated going the the gym, so about three weeks ago I started working on the habit of exercise every morning in my basement. I do some body weight training in intervals for about 20 minutes. At this point, my focus is not on the results but on consistency so those neurological pathways will be formed. Later I will consider adding weights or other equipment for specific fitness goals, but now it’s all about the habit.

What habits do you need to form?

To Pink Or Not To Pink...

A while back, I had an idea for a shirt.  It was meant to be funny, but as Steph and I finished it up, I immediately started wondering how people would react to it.  I was afraid people might take it the wrong way.

Here's the deal.  This was an attempt, with tongue firmly embedded in cheek, to refuse to let people define my manhood.  The issue of manhood has grown increasingly more important of late as I have a fifteen year old son.  Through his whole life, I have tried to instill in him what I believe are the qualities of a real man.  Integrity, honor, patriotism, compassion, generosity, etc., etc.  But there are groups out there that want to discount what I believe to be the qualities of a real man.  One that comes to mind is all the AXE products out there.  Apparently all you need to do to be a real man is purchase and use their body wash or deodorant.

So I guess all the shirts I see out there that say "Real men wear pink." seemed to be an easy target.  Still, though, my goal was a chuckle rather than social discourse.

But if you want to get philosophical, here you go.  I know some real manly men who have never wore a stitch of pink in their entire lives.  I also know some real turds that wear pink almost every day that wouldn't know a real man if one spit some Beechnut in his eye. 

Maybe now would be a good time to discuss what the shirt does not say.  It doesn't say that I hate pink or people who wear pink.  It doesn't say that I hate breast cancer victims.  It doesn't say that I think a real man is hard and cold and void of compassion or that a real man wouldn't lovingly support anyone in a tough spot.

And while we're talking about the "Wear It Pink" campaign, what does it hope to accomplish?  I keep hearing that it is to raise awareness about breast cancer.  That sounds all well and good but what does raising awareness do? Jack Squat unless there is a dollar sign associated with it.  I would have to guess there are most likely many real men who have given financially to the Susan G. Komen Foundation who have never worn a pink shirt.

So, if my shirt offends you, I'm sorry.  But read it again.  I don't think it says what you think it says.

Not So Manic Monday

I guess it doesn't come as a surprise to most of you that I am a little different. Most people spend all week looking forward to the weekend and spend all weekend dreading the inevitability of Monday morning. Not me. I do look forward to the weekend, but to me Monday isn't as foreboding as it is to some.

To me Monday represents something totally different. It represents a new beginning. The mistakes and inefficiencies of the past week are, well... past. It represents a brand new opportunity to be successful, to grow from last week's experience, to be better. There is a renewed sense of hope. I feel refreshed, energized and ready to tackle life.

How about you? How do you approach Mondays? Is it a drudgery or do you choose to look for the positive?

Just Grow Up!

My plan this week was to pray for my church every day based on the purposes. Of course, I got behind. The good thing is that it's never too late to pray.

Today I want to pray that my church family will understand that God doesn't want them to stay where they are spiritually. We were created to become like Christ. I pray that the Holy Spirit will help to change us through scripture to become more like Christ in our conduct and our character. I pray that each of us will become more committed to a daily quiet time where we read, pray, and study.

"As the Spirit of the Lord works within us, we become more and more like him and reflect his glory even more." 2 Corinthians 3:18b (NLT)

We Are Family

Today I want to take a minute and pray that my church will understand that they were formed for God’s family. God never intended for us to go through life alone. He made us to go through life as a part of a community of believers.

For those that have never taken the step, I pray that they will be baptized to make a public association with the family of God. I also pray that they will see their need to become more committed to our Sunday morning gathering. But most of all, I pray that they will get connected to a small group where they can build meaningful relationships. Where they can laugh, learn, and love with close friends.

“His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 1:5a (NLT)

Five For Five

The last couple of days the people in my church have really been on my heart. I know they are hurting because our pastor is sick, but that's not why I've been thinking about them. At least, not entirely. The main reason is that I want so badly for them to see all that God has planned for their lives. I don't want them to miss anything that God has in store for them. He has created us for a purpose, in fact 5 purposes.

It just occurred to me (I tend to be slow) that there are 5 purposes and there are also 5 days of the week. So this week I am going to pray for my church and for God's purposes to be played out in all our lives.

Today I pray that our church will know or be reminded that we were planned for God's pleasure. I pray that we will all remember that worship is more than the first 15 minutes of our Sunday service. God is holy and righteous. He is the creator of all things and He wants us to live our lives as a reflection of his glory. We can do the mundane things of our lives every day as an act of worship by doing them as if we were doing them for God and by talking continuously to Him through the process.

"The Lord is pleased with those who respect him,with those who trust his love." Psalms 147:11(NCV)

I'm Sick

Westboro Baptist Church makes me sick. No, not figuratively speaking. I literally get sick to my stomach when I hear a report on the news about them.

The things they say hurts. It hurts the church. It hurts the Kingdom. I have to believe it hurts God. And surely not least of all, it hurts the families whose funerals they protest.

God doesn't hate homosexuals. He hates homosexuality. He hates it in the same way that He hates lies, hates stealing, hates jealousy, and hates gluttony. He hates all those things, but thankfully for me, He loves the liar, the thief, the discontent, and the gluttonous. And, yes, He loves the homosexual.

One of the hardest things for most Christians is knowing the difference between approval and acceptance. You can accept one of God's very own creations, regardless of where they are spiritually, without approving of the lifestyle they have chosen.

I still don't feel any better.

She Loves Me, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

This morning my wife, Stephanie, told me, "I love you with a heart-stopping love. I mean I literally want to stop your heart sometimes." Even though it was a sentiment that stopped just short of giving me the warm fuzzies, I realized how much that statement really sums up marriage. Marriage isn't easy. When you live with someone and spend so much time with them, the little idiosyncrasies that make up their personality can drive you crazy. I've heard it said that love is a choice, not a feeling and the older I get, the more I understand how true that is. God has blessed me with a beautiful, loving, caring wife and I choose to love her and put myself aside for her. And maybe, just maybe, she'll let me live.

Doggone It

Yesterday the kids and I went hiking at Pilot Knob. We took our dog Sadie with us. She's a Lab/Bulldog mix and is about a year and a half old. It was the first time she had been hiking with us, so she was trying to get used to the leash and the choke collar. But it didn't take her long to learn that when she went too far towards danger, the collar would tighten and become very uncomfortable. Soon she was walking happily at my left leg with the collar draped loosely.

While we were walking, I was reminded of a Chip Ingram tape I heard several years ago. He was talking about God's Laws and how they are not meant to oppress us, but to protect us.

I didn't put the collar on Sadie to be mean or to give her an unnecessary burden to carry. When she learned how it worked, she was perfectly happy to walk right beside of me. She was still able to play and explore the trail we were on while staying away from the danger of the steep ledges.

Many people see Christianity as nothing more than a list of do's and don't's meant to smother us and take all the fun out of life. But the Bible says that there is great freedom in salvation. In fact, it's not really about the rules at all. It's about realizing that all God wants is a relationship with us and the most comfortable place to be in that relationship is right by his side.

To The Left, To The Left

We are at McDonald's in Bryson City so I decided to take advantage of their free wifi. This is much easier than posting with my phone.

Today Michael and I tackled the Left Loop at Tsali. It was around 11.9 miles. Michael did great, but after about 7 miles, he really didn't have any legs left. We pushed the last three significant climbs. That was okay, though. Before this week, he had never ridden more than five miles at one time. Now he has two 11+ milers under his belt. After three days, I'm guessing we have around 27 miles in.

And after 27 miles, I am even more amazed at Michael's apparent physical inability to ride around a mudhole of any size, shape or depth. Needless to say, I have had to douse his chain daily with oil. It's worth it, though, to see him having such a good time celebrating who he is... a boy. I wouldn't have him any other way.

Go West, Young Man

Michael and I had another great day of riding. This morning we rode the red loop at Dark Mtn. It started with a really tough climb for a 9 year old and his fat daddy, but I couldn't have been more proud of Michael. He climbed like a pro. That was probably the longest, toughest climb he has ever faced and he made it without stopping.

The loop was pretty short, so when we got done we headed here to Tsali. It was further than I thought. It didn't help matters that the gps took us through downtown Lenoir and Morganton. I bet we turned 50 times, down every little side street there was.

After supper, we went to the Tsali trailhead. Since we had an easy day today, we decided tomorrow we would tackle the long Left Loop then go easier the rest of the week.

Riders On The Storm

We had a good day of riding today. From Bandits Roost, we rode to Shiner's Loop and back for a total of about 10.5 miles on a recommendation from Richard Rhoden at Foothills Cycling. He was 100% right. It was a very fun loop. But really, the entire ride was fun. The trails are a lot different than what we are used to. Since they are built with machinery, they are relatively smooth and very fast. One of the greatest things is all the banked turns. Several times I heard Michael yelling "Woohoo!" as he went through a fast, twisting section.

Tomorrow we are riding Dark Mountain. Today we went to scout out the trailhead. Unfortunately while we were gone, a violent storm came up and destroyed the awning on our camper. Luckily, no one at the camp ground was hurt and ours seemed to be the most damage.

Happy Trails

Michael and I are on a mountain biking trip. There isn't any WiFi here at the campground, so I'm using my HTC Hero and an app called AndroBlogger to update my blog. I'll keep you updated on how our rides are going.

GOAL!... GOAL!... GOAL!

There's a guy that lives on my road. Now, I'm a terrible judge of age but I would have to guess that he is in his late-60s or early-70s. Most mornings for the last year, on my way to take the kids to school, I see him running. Not out on the road, but just around the perimeter of his yard he runs. He doesn't have all of the cool running clothes or even an athletic gait, but he runs. With his shoulders slightly slumped forward, he runs. Leaning into the hills as he goes around, he runs. With a steel-willed look in his eyes, he runs. Every morning. Apparently, at some point, he had set a goal that he was going to start running and that is exactly what he has been doing.

A couple of weeks ago, when the temperatures were in the teens every day, I really didn't expect to see him. In fact, I secretly hoped that I wouldn't. I think some dark part of myself wanted him to fail at this goal, because if he did, it would make him like most others. It would make him like me. But even in brutal temperatures, he runs.

After the big snow last weekend, the kids haven't had school so I haven't seen him. Today they finally went back 2 hours late and I still didn't see him, but I saw his path in the snow. The place he has been running has melted just like the tire tracks in my own driveway... from use. Even in the snow, he runs.

Today I changed. I no longer hope for him to fail. Today I root for him to succeed. He is just like I want to be. Different.

I had already decided to spend today out of the office to work on my goals for this year. So, I am in an undisclosed coffee shop, drinking an undisclosed number of cafe' mochas, seeking God and his purposes for my life, and the God-sized goals he wants me to tackle this year.

Pray for me. Pray that I will sense His leading. Pray that this year I'll be different.

Reckless Abandon

Over Christmas, Stephanie and I got Michael a new mountain bike. He's been riding an old, heavy one and we thought it was time to get him one he could ride successfully on trails. One that was lighter, and a little tougher, and one that the gears worked better on so he could climb better.

I know that he is an adventurous, risk-taking boy, but when we went to Fisher River Park to ride this past Saturday, I saw a new facet to his personality. There were sections of the trail that I didn't believe that he would be able to navigate. Thankfully, at each one of these sections there were ways to go around the obstacle, whether it be a log crossing or a big root. Usually, I would go first and then turn back to coach him and Bryanna. When Bryanna would get to a rough spot, she approached it much like I would. She is cautious and calculating, evaluating the risks. But as Michael approached, I would watch his face. Never once did I see a glimpse of uncertainty or hesitation. It was like the option to go around never entered his brain. He never considered bailing out. All he knew was to hit it head on with everything he had.

Yesterday, Scott preached a great message on goal setting. One of the things he said was that in order to be successful you have to separate the decision-making from the trouble-shooting. In other words, you can't let the possibility of future failures keep you from setting goals in the present. Deciding not to set a goal that will make you a better husband or father or employee because you're afraid of failure is not an option.

As you continue to work on goals for this year, look your obstacles right in the eye as if there is not an option to go around, as if there is not an option to stay in the same place you are and not get better. If you would like a copy of that message from Sunday, let me know.

Man Up

I was reading this morning in 2 Kings, chapter 2. David was near death and was issuing a charge to his son, Solomon. In that charge he said, "Be strong, and show yourself a man..." I thought it was interesting because David didn't define what kind of man. Apparently, to him a man has certain character traits by definition. And he must have believed that Solomon knew what he was talking about because he didn't explain to him what kind of man to be.

So what does it mean to be a man? Yesterday I happened across a blog that posted a series on how to be a better man in 30 days. I would love to hear what you think. Ladies, too.