Man Up

I was reading this morning in 2 Kings, chapter 2. David was near death and was issuing a charge to his son, Solomon. In that charge he said, "Be strong, and show yourself a man..." I thought it was interesting because David didn't define what kind of man. Apparently, to him a man has certain character traits by definition. And he must have believed that Solomon knew what he was talking about because he didn't explain to him what kind of man to be.

So what does it mean to be a man? Yesterday I happened across a blog that posted a series on how to be a better man in 30 days. I would love to hear what you think. Ladies, too.

Big Wheels Keep On Turnin'

Over the summer I actually lost some weight playing golf. I know that sounds counterintuitive because most people don't see golf as a sport. But every time we played, we walked, and coincidentally, every time we played it was literally impossible for me to sit on the couch and eat cookies. Since golf season has ended for us, I have gained almost all of the weight back, so I decided to look for an activity that the kids and I could do over the winter. I used to ride mountain bikes and I thought that would be a good sport to introduce them to. It's fun, challenging and it's something they will be able to participate in for years to come.

Since starting to ride, it's been fun to see them develop skills. When we get to a difficult part in the trail, we'll stop and talk about what is the best way to negotiate the section. I noticed, though that these talks aren't just about mountain biking. Mountain biking is giving me yet another opportunity to teach them about life and faith. Here are some lessons we're learning:

1. Never look where you don't want to go. Plain and simple. You will steer the bike where you are looking. If there is an obstacle, such as a large hole, that you want to avoid, you will run in it every time if you focus on it. The same is true concerning temptations and bad habits in life. My pastor talked about this just this past Sunday. He told a great story about being at home alone with a piece of his daughter's pie. He was focusing on the pie and came very close to eating it. If you are trying to lose weight you can't focus on the food you can't have. You have to focus on where you want to go instead.

2. Never take obstacles sitting down. When you come to a rough patch in the trail, you can't stay on the seat and hope everything turns out all right. You have to build momentum and then stand on the pedals. Your legs will act like shock absorbers and your balance will be better. Similarly, when you experience difficult times in life, be proactive. Don't let stuff happen and hope that it turns out all right. We don't always see what's coming, but the point is don't just be a victim. Find the best route and go for it.

3. Never give up. Bryanna and Michael aren't used to this kind of riding so they crash a lot. Of course, I've been riding on and off for years and I still crash a lot. And yes, it hurts when you hit the ground, but you have to get back on the bike. As humans, we are not perfect. We fall. We get hurt. We get dirty. But you can't give up. When you fall to that temptation that continually nags at you, don't just lay there defeated. GET UP! Now that's not to say you should ride 50 yards out of the trail to go through some mud like Michael does, but when you fail, and you will, know that God loves you and He is always looking for you to return to Him.

Are there any activities in your life that are helping you teach your kids? Or that may be teaching you a few lessons? I'd love to hear about it. Please comment below.

Slinging Mud

Last Friday, Michael and I left for a 4-wheeling trip in West Virginia. Michael had to miss school, but I thought it would be worth it for the time we would be able to spend together. Someone told me that if I would write a letter to the principal explaining the educational benefits of the trip, I might could get the absence excused. So here's what I wrote...

Dear Mrs. Hardy,

Please excuse Michael Boyles from school next Friday, October 16th. He and I will be taking an educational trip to West Virginia.

While there, we will study geology by taking random soil samples that are suspended in aqueous solutions. These samples will be gathered by driving an all-terrain vehicle, at varying rates of speed, through collections of casual water along an off-road transportation network. The samples will be analyzed for smell, staining potential on apparel, and possibly taste.

We will also study local culture by interacting with residents in their native habitat and will study their social habits and networks by joining them in gathering places such as eating establishments and also on the aforementioned trail network. Our accommodations will be primitive to allow us to observe indigenous plant and animal life first hand as well.

Feel free to join my facebook page at www.facebook.com/donboyles to see a picture gallery documenting our research that will be posted shortly after our return on Saturday evening.

I expect that this particular trip will be an invaluable educational experience for Michael, helping him to become a more astute student at Cedar Ridge Elementary, a more endearing son, a more compassionate brother, and lo, dare I say, a more productive member of society.

Thank you for your consideration and God Bless America,


Sincerely,

Don Boyles
Michael's dad and future professional ATV mud-bogger

I didn't hear anything for a couple of days. Stephanie said the principal was probably calling social services since she now had written proof that Michael's dad had a screw loose, but the trip was approved and we had a great time. To put it in perspective, that was the last trip we took together while he was 8. Today he is 9. Happy Birthday, Son. I'm looking forward to another great year.

Book Review: A Lover's Quarrel with the Evangelical Church

I recently completed reading A Lover’s Quarrel with the Evangelical Church by Warren Cole Smith. I was interested in this book, because I am in love with the evangelical church, but I also have some points of contention with it. I was hoping to find ideas that would support my own feelings and hopefully find some resolutions. This book didn’t provide either. Mr. Smith had an entirely different set of arguments than my own. He is obviously a deep thinker and had obviously invested a lot of time meditating on the subject before the book-writing process ever began.

Let me preface this review by saying that I am not that smart, not nearly as smart as Mr. Smith, anyway, so please filter any comments I have about this book based on that information. It is quite possible that his arguments are simply over my head.

There are several arguments that Mr. Smith makes that do not make logical sense to me. One of his complaints is the rising popularity of using media in worship services. He calls this “the great stereopticon.” His argument seems to be that media such as television and movies has degraded the morality of our country, so it shouldn’t be embraced in the church. Using that logic, I could make the argument that air conditioning has been instrumental in making our society increasingly more lazy, so churches shouldn’t install climate control systems.

There also seems to be a number of contradictions in the book. For instance, he believes that the megachurch model is inherently flawed and tells the story of K.P. Yohannan, the founder of Gospel for Asia, who “resolved not to build a megachurch nor a megaministry” because he saw the inherent flaws in a large organization. He then goes on to tell that one of Gospel for Asia’s closest associations is the Believer’s Church of India which has over 1.7 million members and includes one diocese with 1200 churches, 13 Bible colleges, and 67 Bridges of Hope programs for children. I’m not familiar with the definition of “megaministry”, but that sounds like it leans toward mega.

One point that I agreed with him on was the ineffectiveness of short-term missions and career, non-indigenous missionaries. The model that he described as being the most successful, however, is remarkably similar to Rick Warren and Saddleback Church’s P.E.A.C.E. plan. An irony is that Mr. Smith spends quite a bit of time criticizing Warren and other megachurch pastors.

Another complaint Mr. Smith has is with large evangelistic gatherings and crusades. He then explains that one of Yohannan’s influences was George Verwer, founder of Operation Mobilization, who came to know Christ at a Billy Graham Crusade. To me, this is the resolution to both mine and Mr. Smith’s peeves. Although every ministry or church is inherently flawed, mainly because they are all run by humans which are inherently flawed, it is comforting to know that God is bigger than all their imperfections and short comings. God can take a megachurch ministry such as Saddleback Church or a parachurch ministry such as the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association and use it to transform lives and inspire individuals and groups to think of creative ways to reach more people for Christ.

Again, perhaps I am not intellectually qualified to review a book by such an accomplished author, but in my observations, Mr. Smith has more complaints than solutions. I still recommend reading the book, if for nothing more than using it as a prompting to evaluate your ministry. It caused me to take stock of my own ministry goals and motives.

A Pack of Mild Dogs

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything here, but it's been a busy summer. I didn't take the time to write and you probably wouldn't have taken the time to read if I had. But now school is back in and most things have returned to normal or some reasonable facsimile thereof so I thought I would write about something I saw the other day that really got me to thinking.

Last week I got to work early and went up to the church to get some things before coming back to the office. As I was coming back to my car, I noticed a pack of dogs crossing the parking lot. At first I was nervous because I know that when dogs form a pack like that, even in a residential area, they can become aggressive. I've heard stories about packs of dogs attacking and killing livestock. But, my fears subsided when I noticed that there was an obvious leader to this pack. There was a dog out front whom the others followed. When he turned, they turned. When he stopped to sniff the air, they stopped. When he licked his butt, ...well, you get the idea. The leader was a basset hound. Yes, this was a pack of mild dogs. It seemed as though the entire pack had assumed at least part of the personality of their leader.

When I saw this, it got me to thinking about some of the leaders I've served under and even my own leadership style. Here's a couple of types I've ran across over the years and characteristics I've seen in myself.

• The chihuahua - Have you ever seen a leader that tried to lead out of pure noise? All they do is bark, but when it comes time to make a tough decision or hold someone accountable, they hide under the couch.
• The pit bull - Some people try to lead out of intimidation. They keep their subordinates in a constant state of fear that they will be ridiculed in front of their peers, lose their job, or worse yet, have to change toners in the copy machine.
• The lab - Some leaders try to make everyone happy and be everyone's friend. They are fun loving, but are usually so personally involved with their subordinates, that tough decisions aren't objective and leave a wake of hurt and bitterness.

John Maxwell says that leadership is nothing more than influence. If you are leading and no one is following, you are simply out for a walk. I heard it put another way by a dad who was trying to develop leadership skills in his son in the Boy Scouts. He said, "Son, don't make the other scouts help you. Make them want to help you."

So what kind of leader are you? What kind of leaders have you served under?

Confessions Of A Golf Addict

I have a confession to make. In an earlier post, I said that this summer I was getting back into cycling. The ugly truth is, I haven't been riding in about six weeks. Why? I definitely still need the exercise. The reason is that I just don't have time.

Here's another confession: I love golf. No, seriously, I really love golf. I watch it on television, I look up stats on the internet, I read player profiles... I LOVE golf. But more than golf, I love hanging out with my family and God has blessed me that they like golf, too.

Last summer we started playing together (you can see a video from last year at www.facebook.com/donboyles, go to my videos) and we're playing again this year. We go out to Pine Ridge Golf Course and walk the course three or four times each week. That doesn't leave much time for cycling, but it's worth it.

My prayer is that Bryanna and Michael remember these times forever. The times they've made a great shot and we all did the "golf clap". The times they asked to go play and we went even though the yard needed mowing. The times we've stopped in the middle of a round and sat under a tree and just talked. The times they played really good and beat Dad.

I can't say that I'm making a huge sacrifice for my kids, but I'm trying to be intentional about spending time with them and golf is a great medium for doing that. While playing there's plenty of time to talk, there are life lessons to be learned about patience, competition, integrity, and politeness. And there are limitless opportunities to celebrate God's creation.

Sure, I'm not getting as much exercise as I would cycling, but I think I'm getting a whole lot more... even when I get beat.

Square Pegs

Who says the Bible is boring?  There is a story in Judges 4, where this chick drives a tent peg through a guy's head.  This could be a scene in a Quentin Tarantino movie.  Boring?  I think not.

But, then something interesting happened... they wrote a song about it.  I'm sure it was rock and roll, because I can't imagine a song about a guy with a tent peg in his head set to easy listening music... or adult contemporary for that matter.  Why did they write it?  So that people would remember what the Lord had done and it could be celebrated.  They knew that their stories in song would help the faith of others.

The same is true for you.  Has the Lord done something cool in your life?  If he has, and I'm sure he has, you have to tell someone.  In fact, you should tell as many people as you can.  You owe it to them, because it will strengthen their faith.  There might be someone in your life that needs a booster shot, or that is not quite a believer yet.  A great story might help them inch closer to the one that can change their life.

You don't have to write a song about it.  Most of us don't have that talent.  And there's a lot of us that don't have any business singing either.  But, you can put them in stories and pray for opportunities to share them.