Sticks And Stones

Almost twenty years ago I was hiking alone through Doughton Park when I realized that I needed a hiking stick.  I had been on several hikes before when one would have come in handy and on this particular hike I had already crossed a couple of creeks with near damp results.  As I was walking, I happened to look over into a laurel thicket and saw what appeared to be a good candidate.  As soon as I picked it up, I knew I had found my stick.  Sure, it was a little rough around the edges, was too long, and still had the bark on it, but it felt right in my hand.  I took it home, sawed it to the right length, stripped off the bark and added a wrist strap.  Since then that hiking stick has been a faithful companion.  Together we have weathered sleet and freezing rain on Grandfather Mountain and snow in Linville Gorge.  We have crossed creeks and narrow, rocky outcroppings on the sides of mountains.  I really love that hiking stick, but today I gave it away.

Today, my son, Michael, made his first trip to the top of Raven Knob.  He had been eyeing my stick all week so we set a goal to make the climb.  I told him if he made it, the stick was his.  I was glad to give it to him, because in that moment standing on the rock over looking Lake Sabata, I was as proud as a dad could be.  He is growing up.

Last night we prayed together before bed and I asked God to help me raise him to be a good man.  To be a man of integrity, character, moral fiber and, most of all, to be a God-honoring man.  I want him to be known for his honesty and fairness.  I want him to cherish relationships, especially those of his wife and kids.  And, I want him to know Jesus.

After the hike as we were walking back to camp, I noticed him doing something I used to do when I was his age.  He was trying to match my stride.  His little legs stretching out to take the same length steps that I was taking, the same way I used to do with my dad.  It was then that I realized the only way these lessons could be taught was for me to give him a model.  I can't tell him the qualities of a good man without showing him those qualities in my own life, again much the way my dad did for me.  I will never be perfect but I want him to see that I will never give up on getting better. 

Although I loved that stick, I was glad to give it away.  It's now a reminder of the work I have in front of me, not just for Michael but Bryanna as well.  I guess this year that's my Father's Day gift to them.   

You Look Mahvelous!

"As he was getting into the boat, the man who had been possessed with demons begged him that he might be with him.  And he did not permit him but said to him, "Go home to your friends and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you."  And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him and everyone marveled."   Mark 3:18-20(ESV)

Saturday night, we baptized a guy at our church.  Pastor Scott asked him what the Lord has done for him and he said, "He's changed my life and is helping me get off booze.  I've been sober for three months."  He told how much the Lord had done for him and everyone marveled.

Does evangelism freak you out a little bit?  If you're like me, you want to tell your friends about Jesus, but you don't want to come across like one of those guys on the street corner screaming at people.  Or maybe you're afraid that you don't understand all the theology wrapped up in salvation well enough to explain it to someone.  Well, you don't have to.  All you have to say is what the Lord has done for you, "This is who I was.  This is who I am now."  People will marvel.

It's Just Like Riding A Bike

It's been a while since I've written a blog, but it's been a very busy spring so far.  There have been cookouts to go to and yard work to be done.  I've also decided this spring that I'm going to get back into cycling.  I used to ride several years back and when I was riding, I felt good.  First of all, I felt healthier and that by itself is enough to continue, but I also felt a sense of accomplishment.  Anytime I would complete a distance longer than any I had done before or climb a mountain a little bit faster than I did previously, I felt like I had really done something.

To get back to riding, I first had to make time, so I decided which days and times I would ride.  Nothing gets accomplished without a plan.  Then I stopped by the bike shop one day just to see what was going on in the biking world since I had been gone.  I talked to the owner, Richard, and told him I was thinking of getting back into riding.  The first thing he told me about was the group rides that take place every week.  With all the advances in equipment, with lighter bikes and more comfortable clothing, why would he tell me about the group rides?  Because he's smart.  From a business stand point, Richard knows that if I get connected with people, that I am more likely to stay in cycling and not drift back to the couch.  If I stay in cycling, I am more likely to come back in to his shop and make purchases.  But from a personal stand point, I believe that he really wants me to enjoy cycling the way he enjoys it.  I believe he knows that the best way for me to learn and advance as a cyclist is to be around other cyclist who are better and faster than I am.  He knows I'll learn techniques to help me improve and my involvement in cycling will be more fulfilling.

Immediately I began to see the parallels as they relate to church.  I know that if people get connected through volunteering or small groups in our church, they are more likely to stay.  But deep down, I want them to experience the same joy of being a believer that I do.  I know that the best way for people to grow spiritually is to be in community with other people who are perhaps a little farther along in their faith than they are or have different life experiences than they do.  I know they'll learn principles that will make their life more fulfilling.

People tell me all the time that they want to go deeper in their faith.  Maybe, that's what you're thinking.  Are you involved in a small group with other people or are you serving together with a group?  You should try it.  It's just like riding a bike.  There will be some hills to climb, but there's nothing like the thrill of coming down the other side.  And you'll be stronger for it.

Back To The Future

I've heard the question asked many times, "Would you like to go back to high school and do it all over again?"  For some people the question brings back the feelings of not fitting in, the pressures of the social structure and they immediately respond, "No!"  Most people, however, say they would go back if they could know what they know now.

Over the last several months, I have been reconnecting with classmates from high school via Facebook.  The other night we got together for dinner at a local restaurant.  Many of them I really didn't know that well in high school.  I've even had to go back and look in the yearbook to see who a few of them were.

Something interesting is happening, though.  Through their status updates, the pictures they post, and in some cases direct messages, I feel I know most of them better than I did in high school. I know where they like to eat, what they like to do for fun, and how much their kids look like them.  I feel there are some real friendships forming.  In high school, we were all trying to figure out who we were and who we were going to be.  We wanted to be a part of the crowd and at the same time be unique individuals.  Now, most of that is settled.  We are comfortable in our own skins; we are confident in who we turned out to be.  And, maybe now we understand how valuable genuine relationships are.

Would I go back and do it all again knowing what I know now?  Maybe I already am.

What would you do different?

I May Be On A Diet

Scripture challenges me.  Many times when I'm reading, a passage jumps off the page at me.  It causes me to look at my life critically.

This morning, I was reading the beatitudes in Matthew 5.  I've read them many times before and I remember studying them in Vacation Bible School as a kid.  But this morning, verse 6 jumped out at me.  It says, "Blesses are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" (ESV).

Reading that caused me to ask the question - How hungry am I for righteousness?  How intense is my appetite?  When I get hungry for food, there is very little that can stand in my way of getting it - SERIOUSLY!  You can look at me and tell I don't miss many meals.

Here's what I find, though:  I am starved for righteousness - in other people's lives.  In my dealings with others, I can always see how they could be more righteous and make better decisions.  I crave righteousness for them especially when it's me that's not being treated very well.  In my life, however, not so much.  Oh sure, I want to do the right thing, I want to treat people fairly, I want to live with integrity, but am I hungry for it?  Do I have a deep, internal craving for good?

How about you?  How hungry are you?

Can't We Be Friends?

Tonight, my daughter Bryanna is going to a sleep over at one of her friend’s house.  She has been very excited all week.  Each morning at breakfast she has reminded me and Michael how many more days until she goes to Jessica’s.  Yesterday, the day before the big event, she couldn’t hardly contain herself.  Why is she so excited?  Is it because Jessica has better toys than she does?  Is her mom a better cook?  Maybe they have more video games.  Maybe she just wants to get away from us?

I don’t think any of that is the case.  I think it’s because that’s the way she’s wired.  In fact, I think it’s how we are all wired.  I think each one of us has a built in desire to be connected with other people.  We were made for relationships.  God designed each one of us to operate best in community with other people.  

As we get older, we tend to suppress that need because of our own personal hang ups, but it is still there.  Sometimes we get so busy, we just don’t have time to invest in relationships.

In the past couple of years, I have been intentional about building relationships and it has made a huge difference in my life.  Not all of the relationships have turned out well.  I have been hurt deeply by people that I was very close to, but over all the results have been positive.  I actually get excited when we are meeting our friends for dinner or our small group is coming over.  I can’t wait when I get the opportunity to play golf with a friend.

So, I challenge you to take stock of the relationships in your life.  Do you have some good friends that you are doing life with?  If not, take the time.  Go have coffee with someone.  Invite someone over to dinner.  Don’t have a sleep over, though, that could be weird.

Lessons From Kids

God is love. I’m still trying to learn that lesson.

I used to have a very hard time reconciling the angry, judgmental God of the Old Testament with the loving, forgiving God of the New Testament.  What made it even harder was the legalistic churches I had attended.  Back then it was all about the rules.  You had to wear the right clothes, watch the right TV shows (or certainly not watch the wrong ones), read the right Bible, say the right things... to make God love you more.

All of that changed, that whole perspective, when we had kids.  I then saw how angry I could get when they subverted my attempts to keep them safe while at the same time loving them so much I can’t even describe it.  It all started to make sense.

This weekend marks eight years since Steph and I brought two little kids home and started the journey of adoption.  Eight years later I’m still learning how to be a father.  And, eight years later Bryanna and Michael are still teaching me about my heavenly father and how He loves me.